Recent (world wide) events have allowed me to observe human behavior in the raw. I’ve seen the correlation between events and peoples’ reactions to them. I’ve also seen very clearly that all is in relationship with each other. Relationships – that is a very loaded word. It holds so much information, good and bad, depending on anyone person’s experiences with other people. Personally, relationships and especially the romantic variety have been somewhat of a mystery to me. After many years of experiences and observations, I’ve seen a common denominator in all human relationships and now, I feel that I may be hitting upon an underlying truth that could turn out to be just be one of those gems, a universal truth, a truth that holds true, whether one believes in it or not.
As I understand it, it’s all about energy currents. All of life in fact is about energy currents and how they are in relationship with each other. The universal law of attraction says that that which is like is drawn unto itself. This is a universal law. It is true for the smallest particles as well as the largest celestial bodies in our universe and probably in multiverses as well, although that is beyond my scope of personal experience. In the subject of human relationships, this law brings people together that have something in common, people who vibrate in a close enough frequency for the automatic attraction to happen. Love filled people will find other love filled people for example. Whatever we focus on is what we draw into our experience. I have experienced this consciously for years, and to me at least, it is true. I have seen it around me as well, and I think it actually is true for anyone.
So we meet – say it’s the romantic kind of relationship that we observe here. One person is drawn to another. The gender and orientation are a match (in whichever diverse expression matters not and ought not to be judged). Both look at each other and at the very least like what they see. Perhaps it’s instant love. Perhaps it takes a bit longer to yield to the magic of the source perspective. Yes, source perspective is what happens when we “fall in love” with another being. We observe that person through the eyes of source and source always loves unconditionally. So we love, and usually in the beginning at least, get a positive response back. (Let’s for a moment assume, that the experience of falling in love is mutual, shall we?) – Both people decide to embark on the path of romantic love and the relationship becomes conscious (it was always there, just nobody was aware of it before they met or agreed to allow love to flow.) In the ideal scenario, this blissful period (the honeymoon phase) lasts up to 2-3 years, sometimes even longer and I’ll get to that, but often just a few months before things become more difficult. Issues tend to show up. Things that didn’t bother either of the couple suddenly begin to matter and are being observed and most importantly verbally complained about. Soon enough, there are problems, quarrels, fights even and only one thing is clear, the honeymoon phase is over and, how it is often termed, “the real work begins”.
I have of course simplified things a bit here, but the standard development of a romantic relationship unfolds like that or similar. It depends on the awareness levels of the couple how they deal with their issues and what can be solved and agreed upon etc. So what happened to the honeymoon phase? To those romantic moments of bliss and connectedness? Are they forever lost? Does one have to just “get real”, come down to Earth and work through the stuff? Most professionals in the counseling field would probably see it that way. I do not. I see a pattern that is most common in such a relationship scenario. I see that there was a current that brought both together, meaning, both people ran a current that was similar. Most often it was a current of not really loving themselves but wanting and being able to love another.
In the beginning, they gazed upon each other and bucked that current, perhaps simply because they were glad to have found a suitable mate. They bucked the current of their partner’s inability to love him or herself and loved him or her despite that forbidding current. It’s what source does – they did indeed look upon the partner through the eyes of source and achieved something incredibly difficult to maintain for a while.
The reason they could not maintain this bucking of that perpetual current of lack of self-love is simple. Human beings are not meant to buck each others’ currents forever, like source does. It’s near impossible unless one is in such perpetual alignment with source that source is who is acting through the human body (or in other words a living saint). Humans are actually meant to mirror each other, to reflect and act out what the currents of those around them are. Now imagine! This couple – they bucked each other’s current of lack of self-love successfully for months, or even years. They shored up that lack for each other and the lack was not (always) felt. They filled the other’s heart with source love, which is nice, but it is also a classic scenario of co-dependence that has developed through this. The result is that one partner cannot live without the other’s love, and vice versa, for then one would fall back on the lack of self-love and that would hurt. So there’s a number of “co-ing” behaviors that develop around this pattern, just to uphold this energy pattern of co-dependency. This can become very stressful and draining over time. That’s because it is not how things are meant to be here in this human adventure. We are meant to show each other what currents are being offered to the world. (Yes, even the ugly bits). It is a far greater act of love to show an unadultered current to a partner than to buck a current that is offered. Only by showing the true nature of an offered current, is the other able to see and grow through it to a greater point of awareness and ultimately independent self-love. The work that has to happen in this relationship scenario is one of training oneself into loving every little aspect of oneself and to integrate self-love. However, both partners would have to do that in order to remain attracted to each other, or the vibrations would be very different and the law that brings people together will seek other matches that are more harmonious.
Let’s assume for a moment that there is a couple who as individuals have found self-love and are offering that current to the world. Then let’s also assume that their interests and desires are a match and hence they meet. Their relationship will begin with a huge glow of the amplified energy of both hearts that join in love that is already flowing individually. Love that is not born from a sense of need, but from a sense of fulfillment within each of the partners individually. This kind of love can amplify and dance together with incredible intensity. Following the natural movement of love energy, only expansion is possible with this joining of open self-love filled hearts, as they share personal and source love in their relationship. What’s better still, neither of them has to buck the other’s current even for a moment, they can both reflect the self-love back to their partner and be in harmony with their human purpose of being a mirror for each other. Such love will last for a lifetime and beyond. It is effortless and all problems and issues that may arise will be solved through that focus of self-love and open hearts. There will be loads of fun moments, shared humor and perhaps long periods of silence, during which in mutual understanding, there is nothing to say, but only love to feel.
Some people meet in the first circumstances and through the bucking of the non-self-love current are inspired to find self love. Those are the ones where it may be blissful, then wobble but lead to a more aware form of self-love within each partner, thereby untangling the co-dependent nature of their relationship and the experience of such an untanglement will always be a sense of incredible relief and appreciation for each other to have been an invaluable catalyst in the growth journey.
Be it as it may – all scenarios (and there are definitely variations I have not mentioned here) are valid. None are better than the other. All are an experience worthy of having gone through. Ultimately, it all depends what an individual desires for their relationship(s). That sets the tone for the unfolding of the experience. Whether relationships are romantic in nature, or simply human interactions, one thing is certain. When we are independently free and self-sustaining with our need for love, we will as human race evolve into a more peaceful society, in which the basis for mirroring that which we have evolved into is love and not war.
This brings me back to the current worldwide events of war, terror, fear, and more. These are but a reflection of the currents we offer to the world and each other. Sure, there is potential for love and sure, many reports speak of this love for their next “neighbor”. However, does it not suggest to love the neighbor like we love ourselves? – that part gets forgotten too often in my opinion. True change in the world happens within, for when change comes in form of a changed current that we offer to the world, the reflection thereof will naturally be different – for that is how it works.
In short, if I want to experience love, I must love myself. If I want to experience peace, I must be at peace with myself. Humanity has been at war for a very long time and it did not stop with the end of WWII by the way. We humans are at war within our hearts. The perpetual focus and need to share what bothers us is still too strong. The focus on what is good is unpracticed as of yet, but more and more, I see people tired of complaining and pointing to the obvious negative. Instead of asking, “what would be the worst that could happen?”, which comes so easily to our minds, we can train ourselves to ask instead: “what would be the best that could happen?” – and to me, the best would be a world filled with peaceful, self-loving individuals that strive to learn, and evolve in the arts, science, and technologies for the sheer joy of evolving, which would eliminate any and all competition but support each other’s dreams to the full extent by simply being natural reflectors for each other. I may not live to see this kind of humanity in this body, but one day, I trust it will become reality.