Victim of Circumstance (part 3)

Hello again – how is it going with your personal “I am….” statement? Results may be instant or it may take a while before you will see changes in your outlook, changes in how you feel when you repeat this statement, and changes in how others respond to you. It may also be that there are beliefs and things in the way that keep getting “poked” and stirred up with this statement of intention. That’s normal and only a sign that it’s indeed “working”. These statements will bring energetic changes, especially when the focus is held for half an hour or longer on feeling the way you decided you want to feel from here on out.

So what do we do when say a day starts out resonably well, the practice gets more firm, the intention becomes more habitual, and Bam! – something pops up. It may be as simple as a seeming dip into old thought patterns combined with the associated well known emotional states. When that happens, I’m almost certain it will trigger that intricately ingrained reaction of fighting the contrast away, sometimes by desperately trying to hang on to the new statments – or giving up altogether declaring that these “affirmation things” (I prefer to call them deliberate intentions) are just not your cup of tea. Either way is fine. Both ways will cause you to be sucked back into the old groove that is trying to show up so that you could work through it. Over time, you will begin to recognize these contrasts for what they are. Your response is where the freedom to choose comes in. I suggest to find back to step 1. Embrace whatever it is that is bugging you – acceptance is the key, the beginning of the lowering of resistance. Accept that this pattern has shown up. Then when the relief sets in through acceptance, choose the feeling which you have already determined you want to feel. If you want proof that this really works, I suggest you just don’t give up. This is where the stubbornness I mentioned previously comes in for real! – I add to the acceptance a bit of appreciation that my “I am”- intention has actually had a result. Not the one I thought I’d have, but surely it has brought me on the path of least resistance (get the gist?) to where I need to be so that my intention can become more and more engrained.

I can’t foresee all the potential patterns of previous resistance that could appear. I bet you will find that if they appear on your journey, they are often quite familiar, well trained beliefs. Sometimes however, they are wonderful gifts in form of aha-moments. Epiphanies of the less fluffy kind, that do however bring beautiful clarity as to why you have been experiencing the contrasts the way you did. Anyway – the steps are easy, the process is ongoing, the path is individual and you’re already on it!

When in doubt, step 1 – Acceptance. 

When comfortable there, step 2 – Get clear on how you want to feel instead

When clear, step 3 – Craft your very own “I am …………”  as if it were already so

When stuff pops up that makes you feel bad, go back to step 1,

Then rinse and repeat for as long as it takes until this sequence becomes your new way of reacting to contrast. Toss in the occasional appreciation that there is contrast in the first place and that you have an emotional feedback that tells you when things are “on” or “off” for you and there you have the formula for coming out of any contrast that has been bothering you. With that personal training, you will no doubt leave states of victimhood behind – an experience to be gratful for, as it showed you what you want instead. Not only will you experience less and less feelings of being a victim, you will see more and more circumstances reflect your new chosen feeling. Pay attention to these new manifestations, and remember, the circumstances follow your energy, they are always a reflection.

I wish everyone attempting this good luck, persistence, and the understanding that with your deliberate thoughts combined with the emotional feedback, you will always have a way “out”. You may most definitely not be able to avoid contrast altogether, for that is not what this is for. It’s about knowing how to shift your own energy and experience after you gained the clarity of your preference that was born from the contrast in the first place. It’s always going to be a bit of to and fro …

And remember…… YOU are the creator of your reality!

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Victim of Circumstance (part 2)

Awesome! You actually were curious enough to try to accept the unwanted “thing” in your life and I am hopeful that you felt some kind of relief in that. You are now ready, and perhaps even eager to see where part 2 of this story goes.

With the emotional feedback of relief, comes the understanding that you have let go of a layer of resistance. Should you feel the desire or spark to fight against the unwanted thing return, (and I’m almost certain that it will!) then simply go back to acceptance. It’s ok, it’s normal, and fighting what we don’t like is what society at large does on a daily basis. Like building up muscles, it takes time and repetition to train yourself into a different response when you encounter something unwanted.  Obviously, you may by now wonder where this is going to go. Enough of the amazing suspense. It’s probably going to be a bit of a let-down I imagine, after all this acceptance training.

Along with acceptance comes sometimes a fleeting thought that there has to be a reason for the experience of all these contrasting, unwanted things in life. I assure you, there is a reason! Every contrast is the birthplace of change. It’s the birthplace of expansion, of evolution, and of creation. It’s an important event that will bring a clearer understanding about what it is we are really wanting. Without the unwanted thing, we would never really be clear about our preferences. With the all too common pattern of victimhood, we experience always the same type of negative outcome throughout various different life experiences. After all, our reality will prove just how victimized we have become.

Imagine though what potential lies in such prolonged contrast? – It’s time to dream a bit – but don’t try to dream without feeling emotional feedback for your dreamy thoughts. If you could just wave a magic wand, at the core of this contrast, what would you like to feel instead? – Take your time, this is important. It’s probably something pretty removed from “the new car”, “the better lover”, “the successful job”, “more money” … Go deep into your own inner world and imagine what kind of feeling you would rather be feeling instead of feeling like a victim. – Some may choose freedom, others may choose health, others still only want to be loved and there may be many choices I can’t even imagine. There are as many choices as there are people, for each state of victimhood has its own “flavor” so to speak. When the emotional feedback is absolutely thrilling, exciting, and when good emotions flood your being, then you know you hit upon that which you would actually prefer to feel instead of victimhood. Before jumping right to that wonderful feeling, there are a few steps that may be needed. Again acknowledge and allow that you’ve been experiencing contrast up until now. Then say to yourself out loud: “The current experience does not suit me, it has shown me that I prefer something else, namely ……………………. ” (or similar words). That’s the intention for change. So far so good!

Careful, you’ve intended something wholeheartedly, that means your life is now delivering to you all the obstacles that may still be present, all the circumstances that allow you to learn to firm up this new choice. This is where a healthy portion of stubbornness is helpful. No matter if you land back in the old groove of the all too easily recognizable pattern of feeling like a victim, it’s just another chance to firm up your choice that you are ok with the old, but prefer the new. Keep intending it until you feel ever more comfortable with your new choice.

Once you feel reasonably comfortable, the time has come to do the thing that didn’t work before you accepted what was. A bold statement is needed to create a new identity. Try it on for size and speak out loud: “I AM …………….!”  (The “I am” part is very important, it helps you to identify with your new choice. – Words hold power!).

Let your voice resonate within your physical self. Let the energy of this new bold statement sink in. Then repeat it – but pay attention to how you feel after you voiced this statement. At first, it may feel like new shoes that have not yet been broken in. It should not feel like a total lie though. The feeling of lying to yourself comes only when you have not yet fully embraced the contrast. If that happens, it’s the indication to go back to part 1 of this blog – more training in the acceptance phase is then necessary.

(Following the flow of inspiration, this is as much as I am called to write today – apparently, there will be a part 3 coming soon. I hope you stay with it.)

 

The Blessing of Accepting Responsibility

As I was spiraling through my patterning, I had the opportunity to get a good look at a wonderful pattern. The pattern that keeps me in the “right” to complain, blame others for my experience, and feel victimized by circumstances and people. There I thought I had worked through that, but it appeared that there was another level of intensity that I could become clear about. Sure, I know I’m the creator of my own reality – I take full responsibility, except when I complain, or judge, or fall into these states where I feel sorry for my (perceived) bad luck and so on. Only then, I’m rather not the creator of my own reality… In those moments, I disavow my creator status. By doing that, I basically am very mean to myself. With my resistance to accepting that it is my creation, I say in energetic “words” – “I did not do that – therefore, I’m not a creator”. Strangely enough, when I last revisited this subject, it felt like I was facing a really tough decision – one that asks me to give up complaining and blaming others (more and more) and one that asks me to step into the identity as being a responsible creator. It was the moment in which I realized, that once I fully embrace this, I will no longer pretend I am something that I am not. Authenticity had just gotten more real than ever before. My perception has since shifted from seeing my experience as something I am looking at, to something I actually caused to appear. The impact of taking full responsibility for this is sobering to say the least. I am happy to be in this place, for the path that lead me here was my unique creation as well, and I am fully responsible for every bit in my reality.

Life

life

It takes repeated attempts of consciously observing this truth while life unfolds before you and a genuine desire to honestly take responsibility for the creation of everything that is experienced, before the paradigm shift takes hold. The reward lies in the joy of newfound clarity about life and in the self-empowerment of leaving victimhood behind.

On Trust, Responsibility, and Control

Trust in another can be fleeting. It can be shattered within a very brief moment, for we have no real control over what anyone else chooses to do. There are many relationships that we forge over the span of a lifetime. All of them are eternal, for a connection that is formed cannot be broken, even if all energy is put forth to control outward manifestations of that connection. Most likely, such a connection has been in existence for eons before it vibrationally aligned to attract the involved players in this lifetime, as it most likely has done so in many lifetimes before.

We may have objections to that which others in our life are doing. Their actions may erode trust that was there beforehand and the pain that follows the betrayal of trust is keen and strong in most peoples’ hearts, as it signals the degree of misalignment from source energy in a most intense manner. For me there is only one way to avoid betrayed trust in my experience and that is to trust in myself and my source completely. When I place trust into the hands/hearts of another, I will be disappointed, for nobody can control another to the point of ensuring fully that trust will not ever be betrayed.

Similarly, healing that which already is experienced as betrayal may take time, however control has no place at the core of the healing process, for it only highlights and perpetuates the energy pattern of: “I cannot trust you to comply with my wishes (or the standards that society expects of you).” That kind of distrust will most likely manifest again, regardless of how much control over the other is exercised. (It is a universe of attraction and not assertion after all). It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that will result in further experiences of betrayal of trust. Besides, control may briefly bring relief, but in essence it violates free will choice in the other person’s life and that is never in alignment with source energy and will eventually receive a negative emotional feedback of some sort.

The path to healing betrayal leads to taking control over trust rather than over the other person. When I decide to relieve anyone from the burden of my trust and instead place trust solely in myself and with that in my own source; when I trust that I will be fine regardless of the actions, thoughts, omitted actions etc. of another, then I can rest easy that betrayal will not be in my experience. With the shift of the projection of trust onto myself and away from the other person, I am taking full responsibility of myself in my relationship. I take responsibility for my own experience in that relationship. When I am able to do that, the need for control over the other falls away and with it any fear of betrayal. Once those two are no longer active in my energies, my experiences in relationships will also shift and reflect back to me the trust that I hold energetically by trusting myself above all.