Trump

This is the day after the election – Trump, Mr. Trump that is, is president-elect. The country reels. The country groans. Those who voted for him may gloat or simply feel satisfied for having gotten their choice of candiate. Most certainly, change is in the air.

For a long time now, I have not really understood what this over the top caricature of a man (for whom I did not cast my vote) has shown me. Today, I realize…

Today, I see just how strong a mirror he is for each and every human being who is looking in his direction, be they American citizens or not.  From my perspective, he shows us the shadows. He shows us the things we abhor. He shows us the things we try to hide within ourselves. No matter how “good” we are in our behaviors, if there are things this man says and does that irritate us, we have not integrated that we are potentially also able to be that way (bear with me please). We have not acknowledged that we too can hate and be all these things we so abhor. Only if we can look at Mr. Trump with equanimity and true compassion have we been able to fully integrate these “negative” aspects. Before we have integrated them, we cannot fully embark on a path of goodness and love. The shadow side must be acknowledged and should not simply be tucked away somewhere in a hidden part of our psyche.

We may fear that by acknowledging, that we too have the human capacity for hatred and all the other ugly things that irritate us so when we see Mr. Trump express them boldly and blatantly, we may risk being like him for good and not find our way toward the lighter side of things on our path toward becoming aware, conscious, love based individuals. The truth is however, that only by integrating, acknowledging, and owning that we too have the very same capacity for the ugly side, are we then free to truly choose. Then, the not yet integrated issues within us are not choosing for us, but instead, we are free to choose whether to be hate based or love based.

Seemingly choosing love, all the while hate is being thoroughly hated, isn’t choosing love at all. True love just loves. It simply is. It flows without finding irritation anywhere. A high and lofty goal, I give you that, but I believe it’s worth accepting my capacity for ugly in order to get there. For that clarity, I thank Mr. Trump for his role in humanity’s game of evolution.

 

 

The Stars Within

lyra

 

At the tremendous “risk” of going really “out there” with this blog post, bear with me, it’ll all land again on human territory.

Perhaps you have heard about, or followed some of the relevant information and/or the ramblings and guesses of those who call themselves “starseeds”. All in all, the fascination with stars may have been the only clue that you are drawn to lift your gaze from the everyday human stuff toward the heavens and wonder about other worlds. Perhaps you’ve been equally fascinated by all things sci-fi or astrology, astronomy etc, or all of the above combined. Then there’s the yet unproven but very eagerly talked about theme of “aliens”. Other people who live on other planets. To me it has been really quite a common sense assumption, while gazing upon the vastness of space, that there ought to be other beings out there, science is now catching up to saying that the probability is high or some such.

Anyway, long ago, I visioned and had received a message that had puzzled me deeply. “You are not of the Earth” it said. That was very strange, because I look very human indeed and my body is definitely a human one. That odd message was difficult to integrate, let alone believe for a very long time, especially as it was combined with many voices that urged me to finally ground. I do have a deep love for Mother Earth but also a very difficult time to fully comprehend my lack of understanding of my fellow human beings. All in all, it was a very confusing mix to say the least. I’ve learned to cope, I’ve learned to live with it, howver, I’ve never quite shaken the belief and subsequent experience of being “different”, an assessment that had come a long way from the much more potent, self-critical “attributes” of old.

These days, I see Native American tribes gather and meet peacefully after long standing rivalries. They are making peace. They come together for the common cause of saving Mother Earth and protecting her water. A noble cause indeed! In my immediate experience, I see family ties break and fizzle away, I see soul families gather, and that leads to the question I had been born with, which still resounds very deeply within me: “where do I come from?”

Sure, by now I understand that my source is energy, consciousness to be exact and has no specific location. My spark, or soul if you wish, has affinities however, and one very strong affinity is to a different star system. I’ve yearned to go “home” all my life and it has nothing to do with croaking or going back to source. It has to do with being familiar with being incarnated in a much lighter even taller body and experience the point of view of my soul family, who does not reside on Earth. I feel the connection with them today as much as I did (unknowingly then) in my youth. It has always been there. The starseed lies within, even if I spent many years trying to seek it outside of me. The starbeings we feel close to are “out there”. Our wish for them to come down to Earth may even be known, but they cannot come into an acknowledged common reality, as long as we believe that they are far, far out there on some planet that is millions of lightyears away. Instead, it took only a slight shift in consciousness, to realize that they are also in here, right in my own energetic make-up. This shift was nothing I had intended for, it happened spontaneously. I realized that my star family’s perception and abilities are encoded in my DNA, their love is in my heart, their mind and their point of perspective can merge with mine in my own field of consciousness.

Upon acknowledging the simple epiphany, that the star family isn’t “out there” but “in here”, the DNA blueprint that I call starseed began to shift. I can only describe it as an “activation” or  an “opening” – the seed had begun germinating – My perception and energetic sense has shifted ever since then. It seems to be shifting into the mindset/belief pattern and point of perception that stems from that particular star family. Where it all goes, I do not know. This is a new development that I can only allow, for stopping it is impossible. One admonishment that I received was this: the human based perception of separation, and with that the experience of aloneness, is a treat. It’s an illusion that is not part of the perception of my star family’s consciousness. I had better explicitly embrace and appreciate the very thing which irked me so for so long, for soon I feel that perception will shift. By shifting this perception and sharing this information with others who also know they are starseeds, the awakening to the call of the joining of the tribes can continue and spread. The raising of humanity’s consciousness is a very subtle and personal inside job. There is nothing one has to do other than allow the shift to the innate blueprint of that which we came to be – humans, united with their star tribes.  – We truly are the ones we have been waiting for!

 

 

 

 

War or Peace…

 

… it’s a personal choice!

This world has seen many wars. Too many perhaps. Humans have not stopped warring yet. Peace is a word that currently, in this holiday season especially, shows up in many ways and in many different places. However, war still prevails. It is part of the human memory to be at war and so it is manifesting still. It is part of the history that repeats itself, until such time that we humans decide to do something about it individually.

There is not much any one individual can do, or is there? I think there is the only thing any one human being can actually do that would most definitely have an impact on creation and that is to stop ALL wars within. The moment enough people have come to a sense of inner peace, critical mass will affect mass consciousness, and peace will flood the awareness of the masses. It appears that the desire for peace is great, but it seems to me that not many people actually know how to go about creating peace purposefully.

It is quite simple really. There is an inner war going on. We judge. We mostly judge ourselves by judging others. We judge and complain about the things we do not like, without understanding that we are at war with it all. (Pushing against anything is a state of war, a fight.) What exactly are we at war with? What are we resisting? The bad stuff, surely.  But that bad stuff we experience is only the reproduction, the movie-like response of our individually perceived reality. It is a direct 1:1 reflection of the energy that we bring to the world. It is a reflection of what we got going on within, a direct reflection of who we are and what we are projecting to the world. It is a reflection of us, each individual experience reflects the energies of the experiencer. So it can be said that by loving each little experience in our lives, past and present, regardless whether we liked it or not, by embracing it and loving each little bit, simply because it is a part of who we are, we end up loving ourselves. By loving each little bit, we stop fighting against it, resisting it, judging it (harshly), critiquing ourselves for the very experiences we have, as well as judging others for playing a part in the reflection of our own energies…

When we are brave enough to embrace all this, bit by bit, ugly and beautiful alike,  we cease the inner war. Eventually, the result must be inner peace and self-love. In that state, war in an outer expression ceases to be, for it cannot be reflected as it is no longer within. When critical mass is reached in the consciousness of humanity, peace will be stronger than war and the resulting world wide experience will finally be peace.

No matter whether you are called to protest against something because that is your “job” in this life, or not. Make sure the inner war stops first. Then go about what you are drawn to do in the outer, physical life. There cannot be judgment on who does what in this life. The task is a simple one, but it requires inner reflection, courage to face the uglier bits and a big enough heart to embrace them despite their not so pleasant appearance. I believe that more and more people are ready and willing to do whatever it takes. It is my firm belief that it takes self-love to achieve peace, that is a work that nobody can do for another.

 

 

 

 

Explorations into Worthiness

For the past 4 weeks, I’ve taken an intense journey through the web of patterning that I call my personal beliefs. I have explored so many of these beliefs before on my journey, yet came across some deep seated structures that I had no idea existed in my web. The decision to embark on this journey came from a desire to explore the theme of worthiness. Unconditional worthiness that is. I had traveled from the depths of feeling utterly unworthy in my youth to find success in personal achievements that brought me into a sense of self-love, self-acceptance and even worthiness before my own eyes. I fooled myself successfully into believing that this was in full alignment with my source. Little did I know that I had a lot further to go on this topic. All my sense of worthiness (so I came to understand along with eating personal humble pie along the way) had been based on conditions. The amount of conditions I had in place had me stunned over and over again, until I was able to begin to apply humor to this journey that lead me into the depths of cleverly masked unworthiness.

The first couple of weeks were difficult to navigate. It seemed to me that the more I gazed upon situations, patterns, memories etc, where the theme of worthiness played a part, the more would pop up. I gradually gained the awareness that literally every ounce of sense of self-worth I encountered had to do with some sort of achievement, behavior, or other condition that went beforehand. It literally felt like I was trapped in a maze where I would bang my head at some walls at every thought/turn. Alignment was not to be had. Instead, I experienced a sense of sadness and what felt like a sea of grief that threatened to engulf me. My best guess is that these feelings were the emotional response of the past 5 decades that I had successfully circumnavigated or silenced by applying myself to seek successes in order to feel worthy of living my life. With ingenious cleverness, I had directed such achievements away from the standard achievements of career and such, to give the impression that I wasn’t buying into mainstream patterning, but in this past month I came to realize that it matters very little in which area of interest one strives for success and achievements in order to accomplish the feat of feeling worthy. It’s all the same. Any area of interest that I felt a good sense of self-worth in turned out to be just littered with the covered up patterns of unworthiness. It ran very deep into existential depths.

I realized in my process that this sense of unworthiness is at the core of the human conditioning and activates immediately as we are born into our physical form. It’s a core pattern of humanity and to change this core belief took some conscious pattern pivoting on my behalf and I believe it will be an ongoing project for quite some time still, as mass consciousness is buying heavily into having to prove oneself first before a sense of worthiness can be … what? – achieved?! … In this very sentence, you can see the crux of this topic. I encountered the difficulty of “achieving the change of this belief structure in order to become worthy” over and over again and decided to relax every time I found myself to be “working” on changing the belief from unworthy to worthy. This drive to reach for something, to achieve something runs very deep in human thought, and since I am human like everyone else, it is no different for me.

The journey through the maze of patterns attached to the theme of worthiness brought me to this understanding: I am worthy regardless of any condition. The unconditionality of worthiness is the central factor that I was able to identify. The moment a condition arises in my thoughts, I know I’m buying into the unworthiness pattern, be it ever so briefly. When I pay attention and recognize that moment, I take the opportunity and affirm that I was worthy before the condition and stay worthy – period. It gets very simple after the first rush of the many beliefs that are part of the (un)worthiness web. A belief is a thought I keep thinking. Without pushing against conditional worthiness (=unworthiness covered up to make it acceptable), I have resorted to repeat words like “I am worthy regardless” or simply “I am still worthy” – “I will always be worthy” … At first these words sounded a bit phoney – almost like small little lies. Over time, once the intense 2 week period of grief and sadness had given way to better feelings again, these little reassurances had grown to be more powerful and today, I feel they have grown beautiful roots in my belief system. They have anchored in on many themes of my life and my life experiences have changed along with this fundamental change in my belief system.

I do feel mass consciousness’ pull at times still, where it feels like I am swimming against a mighty current, but I realize that those are the moments I am actually trying to fight against that current. Only by allowing that current to be unchanged, even though my personal current has changed fundamentally, do I feel alignment. I am worthy whether mass consciousness holds the belief of having to prove itself or not. I am being careful to not pronounce any success, achievement, or mastery at this point. I realize that the theme of worthiness is an all-encompassing core theme that touches every human being and I simply appreciate that I am free to share my perceptions in these explorations into worthiness, knowing full well that everything is always perfect and nothing is ever done.

 

Resisting Resistance

Our fantastic human brains respond very easily to the mass consciousness belief of “fighting against that which is bad”. Humanity has with loads of practice reached a place long ago, where that fighter spirit is the default and it responds to everything from the most insignificant subject to those subjects that impact nations and the earth itself. On my journey, I’ve spiraled into the experiential understanding that resistance is equal to focus (in intensity and duration). It is not only futile to resist, it’s actually counterproductive. While in the resistant state, we will never experience that which we want to experience in the amazing details we have conjured up due to the contrast we have experienced. In a state of resistance, that which has given rise to identify the preference is still being focused upon and the new cannot be experienced, as we are no vibrational match to it yet. Every process, every work plan we may have to edge away from resisting, for who wants to focus on the unwanted voluntarily, means only one thing – we have declared resistance to be the unwanted thing and are resisting it with that same fighter spirit that is humanity’s default still. It’s a double whammy at that point and it will always feel bad to be in such a state of double resistance. 

Allowing resistance to be a part of our lives’ experiences takes practice. It takes letting go. It takes allowing the “negative” emotions to be there, it takes releasing any and all pushing against feeling bad. It takes embracing the emotion as a natural reminder that there is greater well being in store and more ease still to be had. The reminder, that for now, in that negative emotion, you’re just as healthy as you are in full bliss and vibrational alignment with your source point. It is natural to resist while physically focused. It is normal to feel bad because of the resistance and it is ultimately easy to allow the natural unfolding of that process without resisting resistance so much. The following words have helped me reach levels of allowing that are greater than those I allowed before:

“There is no place to get to, there is nothing to do. I am here, now, in the state I am in anyway and since that is where I am at, I trust it to be perfect for me. I allow it to be just as it is. I pay attention to the experience and deem it right and good. I put my boat into the stream of my own creation and float towards that which source has in store for me with ease and quiet curiosity.” 

It is a calm state this state of allowing resistance to be what it is. In this calm, resistance dissolves all on its own. As my focus on it lessens, I experience more of my natural state of being, since source always allows everything unconditionally. Alignment is the inevitable consequence.

 

 

Racism

For years now I have kept my blog posts free of politics. Do not fear, this one will also be kept free of politics, even if the title potentially suggests otherwise. It seems to me that humanity has a chance these days to look at some core beliefs about race. From my point of view, these core beliefs about race are not only intimately linked to the color of one’s skin, or other physical features, but have a distinct patterning that affects an individual’s identity.

The reasons why any point of source would choose to incarnate in one particular physical expression over another are many. In essence it is always this: The chosen physical “look” matches 100% that which a source point has intended to experience. Period. It’s that simple. It’s perfection. 

Racism is this trend that has been going on within humanity for a great number of years, thousands of years actually. There have been many cries for it to stop. The creation of a humanity who can peacefully co-exist in all facets of diversity has already happened in non-physical. It is possible to attract the changes that will ultimately allow this magnificent creation of such a humanity into physical expression. Any form of outward action (unless that makes you deliriously happy, then it’s your calling to jump into action) will only fuel racism, for racism begins within. 

I am sorely aware, that this lifetime in this caucasian body doesn’t really give me much entitlement to even speak about racism, since it’s the white folks who have perpetrated so many racial “no-no-s”. It is interesting to note that my cell information of “caucasian” tells me that I am guilty of said perpetrated atrocities, even if my personal beliefs only speak of humans, regardless of skin color or otherwise distinguishing features. Yes, being in a caucasian body brings the filter of being guilty. That’s the moment where racism starts – right there. That’s where I am noticing a difference between those who are not of caucasian cell information vs. myself. This negative emotional feedback (in my case guilt) is a clear indication that the identification with “caucasian” holds a belief pattern that is a misalignment with source frequency. Source does not identify with skin color but only rejoices in diversity. 

I look at racial patterning as something we come into an incarnation with. It doesn’t matter what our personal beliefs are, the cells hold a racial pattern that speaks of ancient experiences that have been going on for thousands of years. Depending on the diversity of your ancestry, there are numerous patterns that overlay and form a specific racial filter through which you can either simply experience your life (like a preset), or you can choose to evolve beyond it by consciously changing your own racial beliefs and implement those to form a different filter through which you experience your life. 

You may wonder whether it is possible to affect the cellular memory by changing a belief pattern and I can easily confirm that you can. A belief is a thought you keep thinking. That which you look at is what registers as a thought. If you look at the racial issues that are being experienced in any part of the world, you will look at racism. If you look at racism, your own pattern of racism (yes we all have them still) will come to the fore. When that happens, and you become conscious of your racial patterning, relax for a moment. Relax into the presence of those patterns. They are an information on the cellular level that you have come into this body with. There is no need to fight them. In fact, if you want to see racism gone from humanity, start by focusing on loving acceptance of your own inner racial patterning. No matter whether that has the information of “victim” or “perpetrator” – it really doesn’t matter what the race is, or how you experience the patterning. What really matters is that you can find acceptance, and then self-love of that racial patterning by looking at yourself in a loving and accepting manner often (very often)… 

If you do this practice often enough, and moving into acceptance rather than staying in racism seems to be a worthy cause to me, such acceptance becomes a pattern of its own. Then you are indeed a (r)evolutionary genius who is contributing to general acceptance of race. I see the potential that if many many (did I say many!) people would busy themselves with such acceptance, racism will cease to be an experience on this planet. A goal that fills me with such joy that I cannot help but ask you all to give this some thought, and perhaps find acceptance of your own racial self, no matter the color, no matter the many ancestral points of origin. Ultimately, it’s all the same, just in many different facets that bring such diverse experiences. A joy to look at really!

Done Judging

Only when we are open enough to laugh loudly at who we are, what behavior patterns we still follow regularly, can we find that place in our hearts, where we find it easier to embrace each and every ounce of who we are, regardless of whether the things we find are especially enlightened, pretty much the lowest points of our lives, the glorious achievements in the outside world, or our quiet, unseen personal triumphs.

When we have truly reached the point, when we can fully accept the totality of who we encounter when we observe ourselves, then I foresee a wave of relief to wash across the whole of humanity, cleansing us from every little bit of judgment that we experience. This in full knowledge, that we have ceased to judge ourselves and the reflection of judgment that we encounter in our realities just isn’t there any longer. When this happens on a broad spectrum, we will find more and more humans in awe of their fellow man, in awe mainly because of the incredible amount of diversity and varied expressions that exist and can be shared. When this happens, fear of being judged can be an experience of the past that does no longer need to be re-created.

We all have the power to begin with a very simple step of stopping the inner critic from spewing forth his or her continuous stream of judgment at every twist and turn of our earthly experience. The more we are able to accept ourselves fully as we are, the more we will experience acceptance from others, the more we will accept them in turn… the avalanche is ready to sweep the world. Who’s with me?

 

(Original post: July 30, 2011)

Me, My Brother, My Sister

By Hailey Berry

For Nathan

My sister can swim laps and learn drills.
My brother does hip-hop and various sports.
They’ve both been in plays.
I am content but,
What am I missing?
Don’t be mad when I’m not a team player.
I do best in the spotlight, a star actor.

My sister can drive and create essays.
My brother makes posters for his class.
They both use cursive.
I am content but,
When can I do these things?
Don’t be mad when I refuse to sign or type.
Hand cramps are inconvenient when I need them so.

When angry, my sister writes, my brother takes deep breathes.
They’ve both yelled (often at each other) before.
I am content but,
How should I express anger?
Don’t be mad when I pull film out or tear my books.
I can’t journal; I won’t pretend I’m not angry.
I can’t even yell how I feel at you!

Don’t be mad when I don’t sit still for pictures,
or don’t give you a hug,
or become loud during a movie.
I hate the flash; I may not like your perfume; I thought you like this scene, too.

My sister goes to college, but I’ll never have a class with her.
My brother builds grand things with Legos, but I don’t have the patience.
Then again, I am not my brother or my sister.
Treat me ( and accept me) as a person, like you would anyone else.
I am mentally retarded, I have autism, but I am still human.