Victim of Circumstance (part 2)

Awesome! You actually were curious enough to try to accept the unwanted “thing” in your life and I am hopeful that you felt some kind of relief in that. You are now ready, and perhaps even eager to see where part 2 of this story goes.

With the emotional feedback of relief, comes the understanding that you have let go of a layer of resistance. Should you feel the desire or spark to fight against the unwanted thing return, (and I’m almost certain that it will!) then simply go back to acceptance. It’s ok, it’s normal, and fighting what we don’t like is what society at large does on a daily basis. Like building up muscles, it takes time and repetition to train yourself into a different response when you encounter something unwanted. ¬†Obviously, you may by now wonder where this is going to go. Enough of the amazing suspense. It’s probably going to be a bit of a let-down I imagine, after all this acceptance training.

Along with acceptance comes sometimes a fleeting thought that there has to be a reason for the experience of all these contrasting, unwanted things in life. I assure you, there is a reason! Every contrast is the birthplace of change. It’s the birthplace of expansion, of evolution, and of creation. It’s an important event that will bring a clearer understanding about what it is we are really wanting. Without the unwanted thing, we would never really be clear about our preferences. With the all too common pattern of victimhood, we experience always the same type of negative outcome throughout various different life experiences. After all, our reality will prove just how victimized we have become.

Imagine though what potential lies in such prolonged contrast? – It’s time to dream a bit – but don’t try to dream without feeling emotional feedback for your dreamy thoughts. If you could just wave a magic wand, at the core of this contrast, what would you like to feel instead? – Take your time, this is important. It’s probably something pretty removed from “the new car”, “the better lover”, “the successful job”, “more money” … Go deep into your own inner world and imagine what kind of feeling you would rather be feeling instead of feeling like a victim. – Some may choose freedom, others may choose health, others still only want to be loved and there may be many choices I can’t even imagine. There are as many choices as there are people, for each state of victimhood has its own “flavor” so to speak. When the emotional feedback is absolutely thrilling, exciting, and when good emotions flood your being, then you know you hit upon that which you would actually prefer to feel instead of victimhood. Before jumping right to that wonderful feeling, there are a few steps that may be needed. Again acknowledge and allow that you’ve been experiencing contrast up until now. Then say to yourself out loud: “The current experience does not suit me, it has shown me that I prefer something else, namely ……………………. ” (or similar words). That’s the intention for change. So far so good!

Careful, you’ve intended something wholeheartedly, that means your life is now delivering to you all the obstacles that may still be present, all the circumstances that allow you to learn to firm up this new choice. This is where a healthy portion of stubbornness is helpful. No matter if you land back in the old groove of the all too easily recognizable pattern of feeling like a victim, it’s just another chance to firm up your choice that you are ok with the old, but prefer the new. Keep intending it until you feel ever more comfortable with your new choice.

Once you feel reasonably comfortable, the time has come to do the thing that didn’t work before you accepted what was. A bold statement is needed to create a new identity. Try it on for size and speak out loud: “I AM …………….!” ¬†(The “I am” part is very important, it helps you to identify with your new choice. – Words hold power!).

Let your voice resonate within your physical self. Let the energy of this new bold statement sink in. Then repeat it – but pay attention to how you feel after you voiced this statement. At first, it may feel like new shoes that have not yet been broken in. It should not feel like a total lie though. The feeling of lying to yourself comes only when you have not yet fully embraced the contrast. If that happens, it’s the indication to go back to part 1 of this blog – more training in the acceptance phase is then necessary.

(Following the flow of inspiration, this is as much as I am called to write today – apparently, there will be a part 3 coming soon. I hope you stay with it.)

 

Advertisements

Victim of Circumstance (part 1)

The focus and overt attention we give to something, be it positive or negative in our experiene, creates an energetic pattern that will bring more of the same into our experience. Cool! – now I have this “thing” in my experience I don’t want. I’ve experienced it over and over and obviously, I’ve complained about it and gotten used to focusing on it, so it shows up and greets me every day anew like that old pal I would love to ditch. Oh, I’ve tried to ditch it – believe me! I’ve tried to run from it, I’ve tried to fight it, I’ve struggled against it and resisted it with all my might, yet here it is again, day after day. The habit of focusing on it has created this seemingly endless pattern. A loop, where I revisit this “thing” and therefore experience it. It seems there’s no escape from it at all. So what’s the hype with positivity ? That stuff surely can’t make that monster I apparently have created (have I?) go away! I can’t just paint a smiley face on this and pretend it’s not there, since it keeps showing up. Perhaps I have been fated to experience this ugly monster day after day, it’s must be just my burden to carry – so my thought patterns. There it is – the ultimate thought that slipped in through the back door: “I’m a victim of circumstance!” – Of course I don’t know this ultimate thought in word form, but I feel its power. I feel it, yes it is true, look around – it’s everywhere, circumstances abound and they victimize me and keep me hostage! – The cycle has found it’s low point, or has it not?

If this scenario sounds remotely familiar, I have perhaps some news for you. First off, you are correct. You are experiencing yourself as a victim of the circumstances in your life. You have proof of that. It feels real. I get it. I can easily acknowledge this and nod. Yes indeed, it is so. However, the query does not end here! “Why is this experience the way it is and repeats itself over and over in variations?” That is a question that will have undoubtedly an answer akin to: “because I believe to be a victim of circumstance”. And there you have it…

Now on to the perhaps rather unconventional part of this scenario. You’ve tried to move on from this state, I’m sure you have. You’ve tried to escape, you’ve tried to meditate perhaps, you’ve tried that darn positive affirmation thing and it failed – You want to simply give up, flop over and let it all be, yet there’s that spark in you that fights again and again. Two things happen here. The fight against this brings more focus to it and therefore elicits more confirmatory experiences and it firms up the very belief you are trying to expunge. The other thing is this – the sense of having exhausted all your fight and all possible actions and the feeling of giving up is actually your source input trying to guide you toward the one thing that will bring you the relief you are seeking. Flop over – let it all be! – that’s the call of source!

Have you tried following that call yet? – If you have, you know where I’m going with this. If not, then I feel it may be time you did. Allowing is a magical thing. Allowing can heal so much. Allow that you have this core belief. (You are not alone, it’s a core belief you share with mass consciousness). Allow that things are as they are. Allow it like a farmer who just lost his crop to bad weather would sigh and accept. Shrug and say “oh well” – just for a moment. Let the relief that follows this acceptance flood through your very being. Let go of the fight, even if it seems counter-intuitive. Let go of the struggle that only creates more focus on the undesirable thing.

Don’t try to run from that, don’t try to immediately shift away, try to fully embrace that thing that caused you to feel victimized. Get me right, it’s not about forgiveness here. It’s about acceptance and nothing more. This is the first step. Give this step enough time to feel what it means to be in a state of acceptance of what is.

 

(Since there is need for time between the first and the following steps, part 2 of “Victim of Circumstance” will follow a bit later – stay tuned!)