Victim of Circumstance (part 1)

The focus and overt attention we give to something, be it positive or negative in our experiene, creates an energetic pattern that will bring more of the same into our experience. Cool! – now I have this “thing” in my experience I don’t want. I’ve experienced it over and over and obviously, I’ve complained about it and gotten used to focusing on it, so it shows up and greets me every day anew like that old pal I would love to ditch. Oh, I’ve tried to ditch it – believe me! I’ve tried to run from it, I’ve tried to fight it, I’ve struggled against it and resisted it with all my might, yet here it is again, day after day. The habit of focusing on it has created this seemingly endless pattern. A loop, where I revisit this “thing” and therefore experience it. It seems there’s no escape from it at all. So what’s the hype with positivity ? That stuff surely can’t make that monster I apparently have created (have I?) go away! I can’t just paint a smiley face on this and pretend it’s not there, since it keeps showing up. Perhaps I have been fated to experience this ugly monster day after day, it’s must be just my burden to carry – so my thought patterns. There it is – the ultimate thought that slipped in through the back door: “I’m a victim of circumstance!” – Of course I don’t know this ultimate thought in word form, but I feel its power. I feel it, yes it is true, look around – it’s everywhere, circumstances abound and they victimize me and keep me hostage! – The cycle has found it’s low point, or has it not?

If this scenario sounds remotely familiar, I have perhaps some news for you. First off, you are correct. You are experiencing yourself as a victim of the circumstances in your life. You have proof of that. It feels real. I get it. I can easily acknowledge this and nod. Yes indeed, it is so. However, the query does not end here! “Why is this experience the way it is and repeats itself over and over in variations?” That is a question that will have undoubtedly an answer akin to: “because I believe to be a victim of circumstance”. And there you have it…

Now on to the perhaps rather unconventional part of this scenario. You’ve tried to move on from this state, I’m sure you have. You’ve tried to escape, you’ve tried to meditate perhaps, you’ve tried that darn positive affirmation thing and it failed – You want to simply give up, flop over and let it all be, yet there’s that spark in you that fights again and again. Two things happen here. The fight against this brings more focus to it and therefore elicits more confirmatory experiences and it firms up the very belief you are trying to expunge. The other thing is this – the sense of having exhausted all your fight and all possible actions and the feeling of giving up is actually your source input trying to guide you toward the one thing that will bring you the relief you are seeking. Flop over – let it all be! – that’s the call of source!

Have you tried following that call yet? – If you have, you know where I’m going with this. If not, then I feel it may be time you did. Allowing is a magical thing. Allowing can heal so much. Allow that you have this core belief. (You are not alone, it’s a core belief you share with mass consciousness). Allow that things are as they are. Allow it like a farmer who just lost his crop to bad weather would sigh and accept. Shrug and say “oh well” – just for a moment. Let the relief that follows this acceptance flood through your very being. Let go of the fight, even if it seems counter-intuitive. Let go of the struggle that only creates more focus on the undesirable thing.

Don’t try to run from that, don’t try to immediately shift away, try to fully embrace that thing that caused you to feel victimized. Get me right, it’s not about forgiveness here. It’s about acceptance and nothing more. This is the first step. Give this step enough time to feel what it means to be in a state of acceptance of what is.


(Since there is need for time between the first and the following steps, part 2 of “Victim of Circumstance” will follow a bit later – stay tuned!)


Life After Awakening

These days, I notice that more and more people speak of waking up to their true nature as conscious creator beings. As with everything, there are so many paths that can lead to such an awakening. They are all glorious in their own right and certainly fit an individual’s belief system perfectly, or it would not have yielded the wonderful result of awakening. I found that becoming more and more aware is a gradual process however. Sometimes, the human mind thinks to suggest that since you’ve woken up to who you really are (once or twice), everything must now be fine and dandy and “done”. In my belief system, this does not hold quite true for me. Instead, I found that everything became a point of departure, a point from which I was lead to where I am today. I understand that every moment offers a plethora of choices that I not only can make consciously, but actually am repeatedly called to make consciously. If I choose (unconsciously/automatically) by default, it is most often the mainstream, mass consciousness way of thinking that dictates these choices.

Before any strand in my own belief system is set to a new default, I am called to choose consciously, over and over again, things that I prefer, things that make me feel good and make choices that feel “on” to me. If I choose to let things slip and dwell again in the illusions of mass consciousness belief systems, I will easily get drawn into that old default. This happens until my new personal defaults are practiced enough so that they anchor in, which is a distinct feeling for me. After that happens, I can become a bit less vigilant around the new default setting. This is nothing other than “a belief is a thought you keep thinking” (until it becomes so practiced that you believe it).

Waking up to become a fully conscious, aware traveler on your path is not a one time shot. In my experience, it takes a lot of repetition and a keen desire to stay awake and not go back to hide behind the veil of forgetfulness, which alas is also a very strong belief of mass consciousness that has the power to pull you again into the state of unconscious slumber. The good part is however, if you have awakened once, the path is easier to find and the process of oscillating between awake and falling into the more practiced, unconscious, automatic way of life is the very vehicle, that will firm up your path to consciousness. At first, it’s just a few footsteps in the grassy field of the undiscovered territory. Over time, it will widen to a single file footpath, then as you travel this path over and over, it will become a comfortable, known little road for you to follow into conscious living. With practice, the sometimes overwhelming pull from mass consciousness belief will lessen and the time spent in conscious living will be greater than the time you spend revisiting the old paradigm until the new pattern of waking becomes the default for you and will be anchored into your personal belief system.


The New Normal

Lately I’ve had opportunity to ponder what it means to be normal. Mind you, I have not the faintest idea what being normal really entails or how it feels. Sure, I know what the word normal means, or how it is understood. (normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.) However, although I am practicing outward normal, accepted behaviors mostly, within, there’s always the understanding that it’s more of a survival skill than an actual belief or identity. There are pressures that seem to come from a society which sticks so heavily to “normal” as the standard of how a human being should be, should look, should behave, and how one should think or feel.

I take a good look at history and one thing becomes clear very swiftly. No-one – I really mean absolutely nobody – who has ever made a lasting impact and ended up in our history books has been “normal”. Instead, we have a long list of rogues, revolutionaries, people who dared to be different. People who dared to be extra-ordinary. People who had to put everything on the line to do what they came to do – to bring change, to enrich the world with their art, to enhance our understanding of science etc. The list of not so normal people in our histories is very long. We treasure those people, but mostly they are being revered only after their re-emergence into non-physical (or what normal people call death).

My question burns in my heart is this: Why can we as beings of the same human origin not allow for the joy of diversity? Why do we have to buy into the belief that “normal” is good, desirable, the way to be; when in actuality, it takes someone to defy the norms in order to do or be great. To be normal means to clip your wings, to put into hiding the very traits that make you individual, authentic, and special. To be normal means to be like everyone else and that to me is utterly impossible and frankly a bit boring.

In that light, I step outside of the norm and embrace the extra-ordinary. I love the diversity more than the normal. It is my preference. Fitting into society becomes less of a goal as I fit more and more into my own energy stream of who I really am. This does not mean that I don’t know how to behave in a civilized manner and I think I am actually able to offer a sense of normalcy at times to those around me. Within me, the glory comes from sticking to what and who I am, to fluidly change along with my expanding energies as they grow and change on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times a day. To allow my understanding today to be one thing and tomorrow yet another, brings me into the flow that nothing needs to be normal, nothing needs to be standard, everything is in flux and everything is always evolving (yes, even normalcy is part of that evolution). When I hit this place where my own normal is this flow, I feel the joy as a response of alignment and I know that I have found a new (personal) normal that will never stagnate, never be static, and it often shifts so fast that it defies the very name of normal.

I let society be as it is, knowing that one day it will embrace the diversity of the many who dare to find their own new normal. In the meantime, if you are interested, give the joy of diversity a shot. Try to see the benefit of all that isn’t normal for a while and see how the old normal pales by comparison. Tempted?


About Failure

The emotional feedback of feeling like a failure, or that you have failed at something is a direct response to thoughts that are in contrast to how your inner being, your source point thinks of you or about the situation you have judged or assessed to be negative.

What we humans tend to determine to be a failure is often just a turning point in our lives; or the new point of departure for a journey into a different direction. By looking at our “failures” as just that, a point of clarification perhaps, or at the very least as just the point of departure for the journey to the next point, then we can ease up on experiencing our creations as failures. Instead, we can adopt the perspective that they are mere springboards for more exciting stuff. Nothing in life is a failure, for everything, even that which we deem very negative, is merely the type of contrast that brings about new desires and preferences, which our source point immediately and steadily holds in focus, waiting for the human part to catch up. What we experience as failures are in fact the birthplaces for so much more. In that light, nothing is ever a true failure and nothing is ever really done, as our experience keeps expanding, growing, and increasing in many more interesting points that give rise to more of creation and experiences and so forth.

To look at oneself, one’s life, or certain experiences therein as failures, indicates that there is a general distrust or disbelief in the positivity of Creation itself and although that only leads to negative emotional feedback, that too is of course allowed as a filter through which to experience one of life’s many flavors. The joy of it all lies in allowing even that which we call failure to be in our experience, in the full understanding that ultimately, everything is as it is created,  it is as it has been conjured up into our realities and therefore, by the sheer nature of its presence in our lives, it is good and cannot ever be a true failure.

Fabrication, Drama, and Illusions

I’ve noticed lately, that “problems” that have been created and aren’t really a problem have a vibration that is akin to having an itch and not being able to scratch it. These drama-related little tid-bits seem to be brought to my attention at the most inconvenient hours and are so far fetched that my mind ceases to be able to support the stories these little “problems” are wrapped in.

Were they really something important, it would have a totally different feel and I’d be all ears and never falter in being there for the one who brings the problem to my attention. In this little example lies a kernel of truth that has to do with the paradigm shift within humanity in my opinion. It just seems not possible any longer to entertain, support or prolong (through giving my energy to it) something that isn’t really truth based. I dare say these fabricated stories are cover ups for some deeper issue and my sensory perceptions are all going haywire if they are being sold as “real” to me.

I think times are such that we are required to be as authentic as we possibly can and in turn we react to authentic things in a much different fashion as well. Fabrications, drama, and cover-up stories, illusions so to speak, just don’t have a hold any longer and I feel unable to “buy into” them anymore, even though I do recognize their makings, sometimes see their deeper cause, and most of all (humbly) recall having had my own share of them. However, in the experience of higher consciousness, of a thinner veil, we are required to stick to the truth as closely as we possibly can, for the illusions are but soap bubbles that will have no long term existence and can be as irritating as a buzzing insect, if we don’t realize right away what we are dealing with.

Gifts, Talents, and Special Training

If you think you need gifts, talents, and special training for your journey through life, think again – you got your emotions which respond directly to your thoughts that create your reality – they guide you every step of the way…that’s all you need to really know.

The Importance of Ego

Let’s face it, ego has a pretty bad rep these days. There are countless opinions that strive towards doing away with it altogether. There are methods praised for eliminating the ego and laments criss cross the vast (spiritual?) blogosphere of the internet commenting on how we need to battle the ego, fight it, crush it perhaps, and so on.

From my experience, and I have tried the above as well during my meandering journey through the different stages and opinions, ego hasn’t left me yet. Ego is here to stay. I would have possibly been even able to deny its existence altogether (or thought that I did), but it has that uncanny knack of popping up when you least expect it and if it’s been suppressed long and hard enough, it will wreck havoc upon return. I say this, because I have lived it, experienced it and know it to be so – for myself anyway. (and that’s ego speaking right here).

Ego is brilliant. Ego pulls us out of the depth of despair, helps us survive the most atrocious events and relentlessly puts us out there onto the stage of life time after time. I have gone through many stages regarding ego and found one place, where I am truly at peace and happy with it. That is in full acceptance of my ego’s worth. Ego too wants to be loved, like everything else. Ego is not just some silly, useless thing that we bring along into our incarnation and that needs to be removed like an ugly wart or something.

Ego is our helper. Ego allows contrast to be fully believed and completes the illusion of duality in the most precise and perfect manner. How else would we, limitless energetic consciousness or pure positive energy incarnated, be able to fully believe that we are limited? How else could we buy into the illusion that somebody is doing something to us? How else would we navigate here on Earth and be practical duality focused human beings having an amazing contrasting experience that gives rise to brilliant and marvellous expansion in non-physical? Ego makes all this possible and it is time in my opinion to debunk the belief that ego is something to be feared, something to be eliminated or something to wish away.

I embrace my ego in full awareness of its amazing service to my source. Every person has an ego and every person has that ego for a reason, or it would not be there. Non-physical’s creations are always precise, necessary and perfect for the intention at the basis of that creation. That is of course only a belief I hold, and you may not hold that same belief, but since I have come to hold this belief, my ego has calmed itself down to a level of companionable friendship, which works very well for me and my journey.

There are moments, when it tries to puff up and rear its head. That’s the moment when I feel prideful beyond that which is necessary. When I sense the twinge of “off” as my source’s feedback to such a moment of self-aggrandizement, I grin in appreciation for the emotional guidance and send my ego off to a beautiful island, complete with hammock and umbrella-drink, to take a vacation, to go rest a bit; but I allow it to check back in later. Ego is usually very happy to go there, for after taking on the whole navigation and management of my incarnation in the early years of my life, it is pretty tired of it and mighty glad not to have to do that anymore.

I guess what I am saying is this: ego is an integral part of you in human form, love it, accept it, treat it well, as that is always a gesture towards alignment and self-love, which in turn, will always feel good.


The greatest inner strength and beauty comes pouring forth, when you decide to let go of all protection, become fully vulnerable and bare your source to be seen by others. In that kind of allowing, you will find the authentic and pure gift of your true self, who has nothing else but waited for you to lower the resistance.