Awesome! You actually were curious enough to try to accept the unwanted “thing” in your life and I am hopeful that you felt some kind of relief in that. You are now ready, and perhaps even eager to see where part 2 of this story goes.
With the emotional feedback of relief, comes the understanding that you have let go of a layer of resistance. Should you feel the desire or spark to fight against the unwanted thing return, (and I’m almost certain that it will!) then simply go back to acceptance. It’s ok, it’s normal, and fighting what we don’t like is what society at large does on a daily basis. Like building up muscles, it takes time and repetition to train yourself into a different response when you encounter something unwanted. Obviously, you may by now wonder where this is going to go. Enough of the amazing suspense. It’s probably going to be a bit of a let-down I imagine, after all this acceptance training.
Along with acceptance comes sometimes a fleeting thought that there has to be a reason for the experience of all these contrasting, unwanted things in life. I assure you, there is a reason! Every contrast is the birthplace of change. It’s the birthplace of expansion, of evolution, and of creation. It’s an important event that will bring a clearer understanding about what it is we are really wanting. Without the unwanted thing, we would never really be clear about our preferences. With the all too common pattern of victimhood, we experience always the same type of negative outcome throughout various different life experiences. After all, our reality will prove just how victimized we have become.
Imagine though what potential lies in such prolonged contrast? – It’s time to dream a bit – but don’t try to dream without feeling emotional feedback for your dreamy thoughts. If you could just wave a magic wand, at the core of this contrast, what would you like to feel instead? – Take your time, this is important. It’s probably something pretty removed from “the new car”, “the better lover”, “the successful job”, “more money” … Go deep into your own inner world and imagine what kind of feeling you would rather be feeling instead of feeling like a victim. – Some may choose freedom, others may choose health, others still only want to be loved and there may be many choices I can’t even imagine. There are as many choices as there are people, for each state of victimhood has its own “flavor” so to speak. When the emotional feedback is absolutely thrilling, exciting, and when good emotions flood your being, then you know you hit upon that which you would actually prefer to feel instead of victimhood. Before jumping right to that wonderful feeling, there are a few steps that may be needed. Again acknowledge and allow that you’ve been experiencing contrast up until now. Then say to yourself out loud: “The current experience does not suit me, it has shown me that I prefer something else, namely ……………………. ” (or similar words). That’s the intention for change. So far so good!
Careful, you’ve intended something wholeheartedly, that means your life is now delivering to you all the obstacles that may still be present, all the circumstances that allow you to learn to firm up this new choice. This is where a healthy portion of stubbornness is helpful. No matter if you land back in the old groove of the all too easily recognizable pattern of feeling like a victim, it’s just another chance to firm up your choice that you are ok with the old, but prefer the new. Keep intending it until you feel ever more comfortable with your new choice.
Once you feel reasonably comfortable, the time has come to do the thing that didn’t work before you accepted what was. A bold statement is needed to create a new identity. Try it on for size and speak out loud: “I AM …………….!” (The “I am” part is very important, it helps you to identify with your new choice. – Words hold power!).
Let your voice resonate within your physical self. Let the energy of this new bold statement sink in. Then repeat it – but pay attention to how you feel after you voiced this statement. At first, it may feel like new shoes that have not yet been broken in. It should not feel like a total lie though. The feeling of lying to yourself comes only when you have not yet fully embraced the contrast. If that happens, it’s the indication to go back to part 1 of this blog – more training in the acceptance phase is then necessary.
(Following the flow of inspiration, this is as much as I am called to write today – apparently, there will be a part 3 coming soon. I hope you stay with it.)