Life is expansive, there are no conflicts in nature. It is only the illusion of separation that brings the contrast of conflict… We keep seeking for a solution to find the way, but there is no real way, because we already are what we are seeking to become!
Recent (world wide) events have allowed me to observe human behavior in the raw. I’ve seen the correlation between events and peoples’ reactions to them. I’ve also seen very clearly that all is in relationship with each other. Relationships – that is a very loaded word. It holds so much information, good and bad, depending on anyone person’s experiences with other people. Personally, relationships and especially the romantic variety have been somewhat of a mystery to me. After many years of experiences and observations, I’ve seen a common denominator in all human relationships and now, I feel that I may be hitting upon an underlying truth that could turn out to be just be one of those gems, a universal truth, a truth that holds true, whether one believes in it or not.
As I understand it, it’s all about energy currents. All of life in fact is about energy currents and how they are in relationship with each other. The universal law of attraction says that that which is like is drawn unto itself. This is a universal law. It is true for the smallest particles as well as the largest celestial bodies in our universe and probably in multiverses as well, although that is beyond my scope of personal experience. In the subject of human relationships, this law brings people together that have something in common, people who vibrate in a close enough frequency for the automatic attraction to happen. Love filled people will find other love filled people for example. Whatever we focus on is what we draw into our experience. I have experienced this consciously for years, and to me at least, it is true. I have seen it around me as well, and I think it actually is true for anyone.
So we meet – say it’s the romantic kind of relationship that we observe here. One person is drawn to another. The gender and orientation are a match (in whichever diverse expression matters not and ought not to be judged). Both look at each other and at the very least like what they see. Perhaps it’s instant love. Perhaps it takes a bit longer to yield to the magic of the source perspective. Yes, source perspective is what happens when we “fall in love” with another being. We observe that person through the eyes of source and source always loves unconditionally. So we love, and usually in the beginning at least, get a positive response back. (Let’s for a moment assume, that the experience of falling in love is mutual, shall we?) – Both people decide to embark on the path of romantic love and the relationship becomes conscious (it was always there, just nobody was aware of it before they met or agreed to allow love to flow.) In the ideal scenario, this blissful period (the honeymoon phase) lasts up to 2-3 years, sometimes even longer and I’ll get to that, but often just a few months before things become more difficult. Issues tend to show up. Things that didn’t bother either of the couple suddenly begin to matter and are being observed and most importantly verbally complained about. Soon enough, there are problems, quarrels, fights even and only one thing is clear, the honeymoon phase is over and, how it is often termed, “the real work begins”.
I have of course simplified things a bit here, but the standard development of a romantic relationship unfolds like that or similar. It depends on the awareness levels of the couple how they deal with their issues and what can be solved and agreed upon etc. So what happened to the honeymoon phase? To those romantic moments of bliss and connectedness? Are they forever lost? Does one have to just “get real”, come down to Earth and work through the stuff? Most professionals in the counseling field would probably see it that way. I do not. I see a pattern that is most common in such a relationship scenario. I see that there was a current that brought both together, meaning, both people ran a current that was similar. Most often it was a current of not really loving themselves but wanting and being able to love another.
In the beginning, they gazed upon each other and bucked that current, perhaps simply because they were glad to have found a suitable mate. They bucked the current of their partner’s inability to love him or herself and loved him or her despite that forbidding current. It’s what source does – they did indeed look upon the partner through the eyes of source and achieved something incredibly difficult to maintain for a while.
The reason they could not maintain this bucking of that perpetual current of lack of self-love is simple. Human beings are not meant to buck each others’ currents forever, like source does. It’s near impossible unless one is in such perpetual alignment with source that source is who is acting through the human body (or in other words a living saint). Humans are actually meant to mirror each other, to reflect and act out what the currents of those around them are. Now imagine! This couple – they bucked each other’s current of lack of self-love successfully for months, or even years. They shored up that lack for each other and the lack was not (always) felt. They filled the other’s heart with source love, which is nice, but it is also a classic scenario of co-dependence that has developed through this. The result is that one partner cannot live without the other’s love, and vice versa, for then one would fall back on the lack of self-love and that would hurt. So there’s a number of “co-ing” behaviors that develop around this pattern, just to uphold this energy pattern of co-dependency. This can become very stressful and draining over time. That’s because it is not how things are meant to be here in this human adventure. We are meant to show each other what currents are being offered to the world. (Yes, even the ugly bits). It is a far greater act of love to show an unadultered current to a partner than to buck a current that is offered. Only by showing the true nature of an offered current, is the other able to see and grow through it to a greater point of awareness and ultimately independent self-love. The work that has to happen in this relationship scenario is one of training oneself into loving every little aspect of oneself and to integrate self-love. However, both partners would have to do that in order to remain attracted to each other, or the vibrations would be very different and the law that brings people together will seek other matches that are more harmonious.
Let’s assume for a moment that there is a couple who as individuals have found self-love and are offering that current to the world. Then let’s also assume that their interests and desires are a match and hence they meet. Their relationship will begin with a huge glow of the amplified energy of both hearts that join in love that is already flowing individually. Love that is not born from a sense of need, but from a sense of fulfillment within each of the partners individually. This kind of love can amplify and dance together with incredible intensity. Following the natural movement of love energy, only expansion is possible with this joining of open self-love filled hearts, as they share personal and source love in their relationship. What’s better still, neither of them has to buck the other’s current even for a moment, they can both reflect the self-love back to their partner and be in harmony with their human purpose of being a mirror for each other. Such love will last for a lifetime and beyond. It is effortless and all problems and issues that may arise will be solved through that focus of self-love and open hearts. There will be loads of fun moments, shared humor and perhaps long periods of silence, during which in mutual understanding, there is nothing to say, but only love to feel.
Some people meet in the first circumstances and through the bucking of the non-self-love current are inspired to find self love. Those are the ones where it may be blissful, then wobble but lead to a more aware form of self-love within each partner, thereby untangling the co-dependent nature of their relationship and the experience of such an untanglement will always be a sense of incredible relief and appreciation for each other to have been an invaluable catalyst in the growth journey.
Be it as it may – all scenarios (and there are definitely variations I have not mentioned here) are valid. None are better than the other. All are an experience worthy of having gone through. Ultimately, it all depends what an individual desires for their relationship(s). That sets the tone for the unfolding of the experience. Whether relationships are romantic in nature, or simply human interactions, one thing is certain. When we are independently free and self-sustaining with our need for love, we will as human race evolve into a more peaceful society, in which the basis for mirroring that which we have evolved into is love and not war.
This brings me back to the current worldwide events of war, terror, fear, and more. These are but a reflection of the currents we offer to the world and each other. Sure, there is potential for love and sure, many reports speak of this love for their next “neighbor”. However, does it not suggest to love the neighbor like we love ourselves? – that part gets forgotten too often in my opinion. True change in the world happens within, for when change comes in form of a changed current that we offer to the world, the reflection thereof will naturally be different – for that is how it works.
In short, if I want to experience love, I must love myself. If I want to experience peace, I must be at peace with myself. Humanity has been at war for a very long time and it did not stop with the end of WWII by the way. We humans are at war within our hearts. The perpetual focus and need to share what bothers us is still too strong. The focus on what is good is unpracticed as of yet, but more and more, I see people tired of complaining and pointing to the obvious negative. Instead of asking, “what would be the worst that could happen?”, which comes so easily to our minds, we can train ourselves to ask instead: “what would be the best that could happen?” – and to me, the best would be a world filled with peaceful, self-loving individuals that strive to learn, and evolve in the arts, science, and technologies for the sheer joy of evolving, which would eliminate any and all competition but support each other’s dreams to the full extent by simply being natural reflectors for each other. I may not live to see this kind of humanity in this body, but one day, I trust it will become reality.
To believe that the same Allah/Elohim consciousness is the driving force behind or in favor of any kind of war, terrorism, taking of lives, misery, injustices or anything like that is simply not true on a level of higher consciousness, even though it can be and has been believed for many hundreds of years and stubbornly keeps being a fundamental belief in some groups. Yet what is also called “God” allows unconditionally any belief, for in allowing is unconditional love and it is the strongest force there is. In this unconditionality, God/Allah/Elohim/Creator/One keeps calling, keeps loving and never judges, not ever. The drama unfolds exactly in accordance to what mass consciousness is capable of believing – so take your time to go within and see what you believe, for you are part of this mass consciousness. Do you believe in hate or its opposite love? Would there be so many on this planet shouting the message of love if there wasn’t any truth to it? It is a choice whether to see artists as mere entertainers or as a balancing force that has the power to influence mass consciousness directly. There are words that have been spoken many times over in many ways on this planet. I for one choose to hear and heed them….Love is ALL you need…
In order to experience the life you always wanted, the one you decided you could love, you must first love life itself.
The most important primary relationship is that with your source; from that, everything else flows.
It’s easy to pop out a statement like this. It may ring true to you, but still, what does it really mean; and most of all, how does one get there?
So many posts on my blog have spoken of alignment. Alignment with source. That is the relationship with source. Alignment with source means first of all to accept that there is a greater non-physical part of who you are in human form. It seems silly and simple to some, but it is a first step. Even if I believe this already, it is helpful to emphasize this thought. Some call source God, some call source Higher Self, others still call source Oneness, or Consciousness. I am sure there are many other names you could either come up with or read somewhere. It matters not. You can call source by any name that is pleasing to you and it may help to just have a name that resonates with you to make this relationship more practical. How about “Fred”? “Lou”? “Hailey”? “Abby”?.. you pick! What really matters is to remember that essential feeling of connectedness that comes along with remembering that we are more than our human form. It is as if the world expanded. It is as if you mattered more than you thought you could. (and that point is certainly true).
To practice this allowing of being greater than our human form, our mind, our emotions, our physical abilities etc, means to open the door for this non-physical part of ours to enter the playing field of humanity. Usually, once that door has been cracked open even a little bit, the feeling of relief is huge, since it takes a lot of energetic power to keep that particular door closed. You can call this moment “awakening”, but that presupposes you were asleep before. I call it “remembering”, which means you simply forgot and that is the design on Earth. The veil of forgetfulness is this “thing”, this energetic patterning that keeps most humans in the illusion of separation from their non-physical part. If you recognize that you once knew, but keep forgetting, don’t fret, this forgetting part is not your (wrong)doing. It just means that your interactions with the veil of forgetfulness are pronounced. For some, this veil is necessary for the perfect unfolding of their experience of limitation, for in non-physical we are unlimited. For others, this veil just seems to be a nuisance, a bother. Usually, it is those who have already remembered a bit of who they are and want to pursue the path of discovering ever greater awareness. For them, this veil of forgetfulness can be perceived as a hinderance.
As with any resistance, take heart and accept that the “obstacle” is there. Accept and allow, for it is there anyway. Then intend and put the focus on your desire to have the veil lift gently and in increments that are in perfect harmony with the path you are on. Then go back to the nurturing of your primary relationship by consciously reaching out to your source every day at least once. Observe the changes in your life’s experiences. They may be subtle, but they are there. Every day there are changes. Look upon the changes if you desire change and you will experience more change than you can ever hope for.
The most important primary relationship is that with your source; from that, everything else flows.
For the past 4 weeks, I’ve taken an intense journey through the web of patterning that I call my personal beliefs. I have explored so many of these beliefs before on my journey, yet came across some deep seated structures that I had no idea existed in my web. The decision to embark on this journey came from a desire to explore the theme of worthiness. Unconditional worthiness that is. I had traveled from the depths of feeling utterly unworthy in my youth to find success in personal achievements that brought me into a sense of self-love, self-acceptance and even worthiness before my own eyes. I fooled myself successfully into believing that this was in full alignment with my source. Little did I know that I had a lot further to go on this topic. All my sense of worthiness (so I came to understand along with eating personal humble pie along the way) had been based on conditions. The amount of conditions I had in place had me stunned over and over again, until I was able to begin to apply humor to this journey that lead me into the depths of cleverly masked unworthiness.
The first couple of weeks were difficult to navigate. It seemed to me that the more I gazed upon situations, patterns, memories etc, where the theme of worthiness played a part, the more would pop up. I gradually gained the awareness that literally every ounce of sense of self-worth I encountered had to do with some sort of achievement, behavior, or other condition that went beforehand. It literally felt like I was trapped in a maze where I would bang my head at some walls at every thought/turn. Alignment was not to be had. Instead, I experienced a sense of sadness and what felt like a sea of grief that threatened to engulf me. My best guess is that these feelings were the emotional response of the past 5 decades that I had successfully circumnavigated or silenced by applying myself to seek successes in order to feel worthy of living my life. With ingenious cleverness, I had directed such achievements away from the standard achievements of career and such, to give the impression that I wasn’t buying into mainstream patterning, but in this past month I came to realize that it matters very little in which area of interest one strives for success and achievements in order to accomplish the feat of feeling worthy. It’s all the same. Any area of interest that I felt a good sense of self-worth in turned out to be just littered with the covered up patterns of unworthiness. It ran very deep into existential depths.
I realized in my process that this sense of unworthiness is at the core of the human conditioning and activates immediately as we are born into our physical form. It’s a core pattern of humanity and to change this core belief took some conscious pattern pivoting on my behalf and I believe it will be an ongoing project for quite some time still, as mass consciousness is buying heavily into having to prove oneself first before a sense of worthiness can be … what? – achieved?! … In this very sentence, you can see the crux of this topic. I encountered the difficulty of “achieving the change of this belief structure in order to become worthy” over and over again and decided to relax every time I found myself to be “working” on changing the belief from unworthy to worthy. This drive to reach for something, to achieve something runs very deep in human thought, and since I am human like everyone else, it is no different for me.
The journey through the maze of patterns attached to the theme of worthiness brought me to this understanding: I am worthy regardless of any condition. The unconditionality of worthiness is the central factor that I was able to identify. The moment a condition arises in my thoughts, I know I’m buying into the unworthiness pattern, be it ever so briefly. When I pay attention and recognize that moment, I take the opportunity and affirm that I was worthy before the condition and stay worthy – period. It gets very simple after the first rush of the many beliefs that are part of the (un)worthiness web. A belief is a thought I keep thinking. Without pushing against conditional worthiness (=unworthiness covered up to make it acceptable), I have resorted to repeat words like “I am worthy regardless” or simply “I am still worthy” – “I will always be worthy” … At first these words sounded a bit phoney – almost like small little lies. Over time, once the intense 2 week period of grief and sadness had given way to better feelings again, these little reassurances had grown to be more powerful and today, I feel they have grown beautiful roots in my belief system. They have anchored in on many themes of my life and my life experiences have changed along with this fundamental change in my belief system.
I do feel mass consciousness’ pull at times still, where it feels like I am swimming against a mighty current, but I realize that those are the moments I am actually trying to fight against that current. Only by allowing that current to be unchanged, even though my personal current has changed fundamentally, do I feel alignment. I am worthy whether mass consciousness holds the belief of having to prove itself or not. I am being careful to not pronounce any success, achievement, or mastery at this point. I realize that the theme of worthiness is an all-encompassing core theme that touches every human being and I simply appreciate that I am free to share my perceptions in these explorations into worthiness, knowing full well that everything is always perfect and nothing is ever done.
At any new encounter, meet your family, your friends, your acquaintances without a preconceived idea. Meet them without prejudice. Meet them with an open mind and an open heart as you would meet someone you have never met before and you may be surprised to observe how different they can (and often want to) be if you offer no current as to who they were before.
The reason we are growing and expanding in our essence is not because we aren’t big enough or not good enough, not smart enough or still too ignorant, but because it simply is our true nature of being in a state of perpetual expansion. By embracing our own true state of expansiveness, without attributing to it the assumption that we were less than perfect at any time before now, we can reach a state of allowing self-love to flow.