Life After Awakening

These days, I notice that more and more people speak of waking up to their true nature as conscious creator beings. As with everything, there are so many paths that can lead to such an awakening. They are all glorious in their own right and certainly fit an individual’s belief system perfectly, or it would not have yielded the wonderful result of awakening. I found that becoming more and more aware is a gradual process however. Sometimes, the human mind thinks to suggest that since you’ve woken up to who you really are (once or twice), everything must now be fine and dandy and “done”. In my belief system, this does not hold quite true for me. Instead, I found that everything became a point of departure, a point from which I was lead to where I am today. I understand that every moment offers a plethora of choices that I not only can make consciously, but actually am repeatedly called to make consciously. If I choose (unconsciously/automatically) by default, it is most often the mainstream, mass consciousness way of thinking that dictates these choices.

Before any strand in my own belief system is set to a new default, I am called to choose consciously, over and over again, things that I prefer, things that make me feel good and make choices that feel “on” to me. If I choose to let things slip and dwell again in the illusions of mass consciousness belief systems, I will easily get drawn into that old default. This happens until my new personal defaults are practiced enough so that they anchor in, which is a distinct feeling for me. After that happens, I can become a bit less vigilant around the new default setting. This is nothing other than “a belief is a thought you keep thinking” (until it becomes so practiced that you believe it).

Waking up to become a fully conscious, aware traveler on your path is not a one time shot. In my experience, it takes a lot of repetition and a keen desire to stay awake and not go back to hide behind the veil of forgetfulness, which alas is also a very strong belief of mass consciousness that has the power to pull you again into the state of unconscious slumber. The good part is however, if you have awakened once, the path is easier to find and the process of oscillating between awake and falling into the more practiced, unconscious, automatic way of life is the very vehicle, that will firm up your path to consciousness. At first, it’s just a few footsteps in the grassy field of the undiscovered territory. Over time, it will widen to a single file footpath, then as you travel this path over and over, it will become a comfortable, known little road for you to follow into conscious living. With practice, the sometimes overwhelming pull from mass consciousness belief will lessen and the time spent in conscious living will be greater than the time you spend revisiting the old paradigm until the new pattern of waking becomes the default for you and will be anchored into your personal belief system.

 

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Creating Change

It is of course allowed to stay in the dream of your own experience, even if you are not happy with it. This is but a reminder, that the energies on Earth have reached frequencies where change and even the new creation of a totally different reality is almost instantaneous. It might be time to take advantage of this and stop re-creating that which does not bring happiness. The decision for change lies with every individual. Thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and patterns are the building blocks for the many wonderful creations. It’s that easy!

 

 

Explorations into Worthiness

For the past 4 weeks, I’ve taken an intense journey through the web of patterning that I call my personal beliefs. I have explored so many of these beliefs before on my journey, yet came across some deep seated structures that I had no idea existed in my web. The decision to embark on this journey came from a desire to explore the theme of worthiness. Unconditional worthiness that is. I had traveled from the depths of feeling utterly unworthy in my youth to find success in personal achievements that brought me into a sense of self-love, self-acceptance and even worthiness before my own eyes. I fooled myself successfully into believing that this was in full alignment with my source. Little did I know that I had a lot further to go on this topic. All my sense of worthiness (so I came to understand along with eating personal humble pie along the way) had been based on conditions. The amount of conditions I had in place had me stunned over and over again, until I was able to begin to apply humor to this journey that lead me into the depths of cleverly masked unworthiness.

The first couple of weeks were difficult to navigate. It seemed to me that the more I gazed upon situations, patterns, memories etc, where the theme of worthiness played a part, the more would pop up. I gradually gained the awareness that literally every ounce of sense of self-worth I encountered had to do with some sort of achievement, behavior, or other condition that went beforehand. It literally felt like I was trapped in a maze where I would bang my head at some walls at every thought/turn. Alignment was not to be had. Instead, I experienced a sense of sadness and what felt like a sea of grief that threatened to engulf me. My best guess is that these feelings were the emotional response of the past 5 decades that I had successfully circumnavigated or silenced by applying myself to seek successes in order to feel worthy of living my life. With ingenious cleverness, I had directed such achievements away from the standard achievements of career and such, to give the impression that I wasn’t buying into mainstream patterning, but in this past month I came to realize that it matters very little in which area of interest one strives for success and achievements in order to accomplish the feat of feeling worthy. It’s all the same. Any area of interest that I felt a good sense of self-worth in turned out to be just littered with the covered up patterns of unworthiness. It ran very deep into existential depths.

I realized in my process that this sense of unworthiness is at the core of the human conditioning and activates immediately as we are born into our physical form. It’s a core pattern of humanity and to change this core belief took some conscious pattern pivoting on my behalf and I believe it will be an ongoing project for quite some time still, as mass consciousness is buying heavily into having to prove oneself first before a sense of worthiness can be … what? – achieved?! … In this very sentence, you can see the crux of this topic. I encountered the difficulty of “achieving the change of this belief structure in order to become worthy” over and over again and decided to relax every time I found myself to be “working” on changing the belief from unworthy to worthy. This drive to reach for something, to achieve something runs very deep in human thought, and since I am human like everyone else, it is no different for me.

The journey through the maze of patterns attached to the theme of worthiness brought me to this understanding: I am worthy regardless of any condition. The unconditionality of worthiness is the central factor that I was able to identify. The moment a condition arises in my thoughts, I know I’m buying into the unworthiness pattern, be it ever so briefly. When I pay attention and recognize that moment, I take the opportunity and affirm that I was worthy before the condition and stay worthy – period. It gets very simple after the first rush of the many beliefs that are part of the (un)worthiness web. A belief is a thought I keep thinking. Without pushing against conditional worthiness (=unworthiness covered up to make it acceptable), I have resorted to repeat words like “I am worthy regardless” or simply “I am still worthy” – “I will always be worthy” … At first these words sounded a bit phoney – almost like small little lies. Over time, once the intense 2 week period of grief and sadness had given way to better feelings again, these little reassurances had grown to be more powerful and today, I feel they have grown beautiful roots in my belief system. They have anchored in on many themes of my life and my life experiences have changed along with this fundamental change in my belief system.

I do feel mass consciousness’ pull at times still, where it feels like I am swimming against a mighty current, but I realize that those are the moments I am actually trying to fight against that current. Only by allowing that current to be unchanged, even though my personal current has changed fundamentally, do I feel alignment. I am worthy whether mass consciousness holds the belief of having to prove itself or not. I am being careful to not pronounce any success, achievement, or mastery at this point. I realize that the theme of worthiness is an all-encompassing core theme that touches every human being and I simply appreciate that I am free to share my perceptions in these explorations into worthiness, knowing full well that everything is always perfect and nothing is ever done.

 

Energy Pathways

One of the opportunities that I have noticed lately is the fact that energy pathways are now more perceivable than ever before. I don’t believe that this visibility is just due only to my own personal development. I believe that the veil is getting thinner and thinner and what I notice, because I’m searching and observing closely, can be observed by anyone else as well, if they wish to get into that. To me, thought forms are energy patterns. Behavioral repeats are also energy patterns for example. I’d say, everything that results in a perceivable reality, an experience on this plane is a construct of energy pathways and patterns. There are certain rhythms in these energy patterns and the energy in them flows in certain pathways. This can be perceived empathically, where the sensation is one of movement, flowing, following a direction, or visually by actually seeing the energy light up and the pathway reveals itself in that form. It matters not whether it’s actually visible, they are there and they can be perceived. To be able to sense these pathways and recognize where they lead has a very unique effect for me.

First of all, as I learn to navigate this world with this added perception, I can tell when I follow a certain pathway, just because I have followed it regularly until now – blindly in fact, subconsciously. I have responded and reacted, just like every other human being to these energy patterns and my energy has followed their established pathways on a daily basis. The moment I realize I’m flowing along such a pathway and it leads to the inevitable result of the well known behavioral patterns, to conflict sometimes to feelings that are less than enjoyable, I have the responsibility to choose whether or not I wish to follow this pathway all the way into the inevitable “ditch”, or if I want to say: No, today, I choose otherwise, for I know where this leads and I do not wish to repeat this particular experience. This is a form of conscious creation and it does have an effect on the fabric of reality.

The next step in developing a keen sense of navigation, would be to see, sense, perceive, know of the pathway and it’s inevitable destination ahead of time, that means before being swept along out of habit. This kind of foresight can allow even greater mastery over one’s own creation of encounters, experiences and simply one’s every day experience of personal reality. I’m not fully there yet with the mastery of these choices. Foresight sometimes eludes me still, but I am excited that I can sense these energetic pathways. It’s one thing to know that we create our reality every moment anew, it’s definitely a more exciting prospect to do so with full awareness and the distinct ability to consciously pick and choose. The sense of freedom is overwhelming!