As I was spiraling through my patterning, I had the opportunity to get a good look at a wonderful pattern. The pattern that keeps me in the “right” to complain, blame others for my experience, and feel victimized by circumstances and people. There I thought I had worked through that, but it appeared that there was another level of intensity that I could become clear about. Sure, I know I’m the creator of my own reality – I take full responsibility, except when I complain, or judge, or fall into these states where I feel sorry for my (perceived) bad luck and so on. Only then, I’m rather not the creator of my own reality… In those moments, I disavow my creator status. By doing that, I basically am very mean to myself. With my resistance to accepting that it is my creation, I say in energetic “words” – “I did not do that – therefore, I’m not a creator”. Strangely enough, when I last revisited this subject, it felt like I was facing a really tough decision – one that asks me to give up complaining and blaming others (more and more) and one that asks me to step into the identity as being a responsible creator. It was the moment in which I realized, that once I fully embrace this, I will no longer pretend I am something that I am not. Authenticity had just gotten more real than ever before. My perception has since shifted from seeing my experience as something I am looking at, to something I actually caused to appear. The impact of taking full responsibility for this is sobering to say the least. I am happy to be in this place, for the path that lead me here was my unique creation as well, and I am fully responsible for every bit in my reality.
… it’s a personal choice!
This world has seen many wars. Too many perhaps. Humans have not stopped warring yet. Peace is a word that currently, in this holiday season especially, shows up in many ways and in many different places. However, war still prevails. It is part of the human memory to be at war and so it is manifesting still. It is part of the history that repeats itself, until such time that we humans decide to do something about it individually.
There is not much any one individual can do, or is there? I think there is the only thing any one human being can actually do that would most definitely have an impact on creation and that is to stop ALL wars within. The moment enough people have come to a sense of inner peace, critical mass will affect mass consciousness, and peace will flood the awareness of the masses. It appears that the desire for peace is great, but it seems to me that not many people actually know how to go about creating peace purposefully.
It is quite simple really. There is an inner war going on. We judge. We mostly judge ourselves by judging others. We judge and complain about the things we do not like, without understanding that we are at war with it all. (Pushing against anything is a state of war, a fight.) What exactly are we at war with? What are we resisting? The bad stuff, surely. But that bad stuff we experience is only the reproduction, the movie-like response of our individually perceived reality. It is a direct 1:1 reflection of the energy that we bring to the world. It is a reflection of what we got going on within, a direct reflection of who we are and what we are projecting to the world. It is a reflection of us, each individual experience reflects the energies of the experiencer. So it can be said that by loving each little experience in our lives, past and present, regardless whether we liked it or not, by embracing it and loving each little bit, simply because it is a part of who we are, we end up loving ourselves. By loving each little bit, we stop fighting against it, resisting it, judging it (harshly), critiquing ourselves for the very experiences we have, as well as judging others for playing a part in the reflection of our own energies…
When we are brave enough to embrace all this, bit by bit, ugly and beautiful alike, we cease the inner war. Eventually, the result must be inner peace and self-love. In that state, war in an outer expression ceases to be, for it cannot be reflected as it is no longer within. When critical mass is reached in the consciousness of humanity, peace will be stronger than war and the resulting world wide experience will finally be peace.
No matter whether you are called to protest against something because that is your “job” in this life, or not. Make sure the inner war stops first. Then go about what you are drawn to do in the outer, physical life. There cannot be judgment on who does what in this life. The task is a simple one, but it requires inner reflection, courage to face the uglier bits and a big enough heart to embrace them despite their not so pleasant appearance. I believe that more and more people are ready and willing to do whatever it takes. It is my firm belief that it takes self-love to achieve peace, that is a work that nobody can do for another.
If we align enough with source frequency (and the degree of alignment is communicated to us by how good we feel) we begin seeing the world and all experiences through the eyes of source. From that point of perspective, even the greatest follies, the most atrocious experiences, along with all the wonderful things, begin to look different. Source sees the immense creativity that goes into creating limitations as well as expansions. It sees the incredible amount of expressed diversity that goes into each and every creation and clearly forgoes any judgment, but instead keeps a steady focus on taking immense joy in the many creative processes that can be witnessed and experienced all day, every day.
Lately I’ve had opportunity to ponder what it means to be normal. Mind you, I have not the faintest idea what being normal really entails or how it feels. Sure, I know what the word normal means, or how it is understood. (normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.) However, although I am practicing outward normal, accepted behaviors mostly, within, there’s always the understanding that it’s more of a survival skill than an actual belief or identity. There are pressures that seem to come from a society which sticks so heavily to “normal” as the standard of how a human being should be, should look, should behave, and how one should think or feel.
I take a good look at history and one thing becomes clear very swiftly. No-one – I really mean absolutely nobody – who has ever made a lasting impact and ended up in our history books has been “normal”. Instead, we have a long list of rogues, revolutionaries, people who dared to be different. People who dared to be extra-ordinary. People who had to put everything on the line to do what they came to do – to bring change, to enrich the world with their art, to enhance our understanding of science etc. The list of not so normal people in our histories is very long. We treasure those people, but mostly they are being revered only after their re-emergence into non-physical (or what normal people call death).
My question burns in my heart is this: Why can we as beings of the same human origin not allow for the joy of diversity? Why do we have to buy into the belief that “normal” is good, desirable, the way to be; when in actuality, it takes someone to defy the norms in order to do or be great. To be normal means to clip your wings, to put into hiding the very traits that make you individual, authentic, and special. To be normal means to be like everyone else and that to me is utterly impossible and frankly a bit boring.
In that light, I step outside of the norm and embrace the extra-ordinary. I love the diversity more than the normal. It is my preference. Fitting into society becomes less of a goal as I fit more and more into my own energy stream of who I really am. This does not mean that I don’t know how to behave in a civilized manner and I think I am actually able to offer a sense of normalcy at times to those around me. Within me, the glory comes from sticking to what and who I am, to fluidly change along with my expanding energies as they grow and change on a daily basis, sometimes even multiple times a day. To allow my understanding today to be one thing and tomorrow yet another, brings me into the flow that nothing needs to be normal, nothing needs to be standard, everything is in flux and everything is always evolving (yes, even normalcy is part of that evolution). When I hit this place where my own normal is this flow, I feel the joy as a response of alignment and I know that I have found a new (personal) normal that will never stagnate, never be static, and it often shifts so fast that it defies the very name of normal.
I let society be as it is, knowing that one day it will embrace the diversity of the many who dare to find their own new normal. In the meantime, if you are interested, give the joy of diversity a shot. Try to see the benefit of all that isn’t normal for a while and see how the old normal pales by comparison. Tempted?
It’s been quite a while since judgment showed up in my experience, but it seems that about once or twice a year, it pleases others to pass judgment on me. Judgment to me is like acid on the fabric of my creation. It feels bad. It feels bad, because I don’t wish to be judged and when I encounter judgment toward my person, my decisions, my way of life, it hurts. Plain and simple, I hear the words from others and adopt them for a brief time to be my own thoughts and they are so far removed from what my source thinks of me, that the misalignment is sudden and intense. It’s not just a wobble, no, it throws me for a loop and my heart aches.
First, I flop over and take the hit, then I have to see that the judgment is in its essence but a point of view another human being is voicing. Most certainly, that other point of view is not based on the full awareness of who I am or what I am all about. How could it be? Allowing of the different point of view seeps into my awareness and eases some of the pain. Immediately, considering the source of the words that had come into my reality, I realize that they have value. I see possible motives for their harsh judgments on me, which doesn’t make my pain less per se, but seeing possible motives helps me steer my thoughts back into the waters of my source.
Source never sees anything wrong with anybody. Source only sees different expressions of itself. Source allows. Humans don’t allow so much and they have their own way of perceiving. I could opt to fight this judgment that has come so suddenly into my awareness and I can choose to have a reality with that kind of experience or one without. For now, I realize that to have one without, it is most likely the case that the very same judgments I would attract if I feared to be judged, would be uttered without my knowing, behind my back. It remains my choice, where I put my focus. It remains my choice whether or not I allow myself to be affected by the judgments or just remember the human point of perspective from which they sprung forth. That perspective is as interesting as my own, whether I like it or not. It is however my prerogative to decide what my preference in this regard is and I opt to not judge those who judge. I opt to allow judgments to flow through me, fully knowing that although it looks like it’s the judgment that hurts, it actually is not. The judgment on its own does not hurt. It’s the web of thoughts that are triggered by it. The fact that there is something that can be triggered, means nothing other than that I have a point of attraction within me that invites this experience. Time to go within, look at what funny stuff I got going on within and focus on its improvement.
It’s good to remember that everything in my experience is my creation, even if it seems to come from the outside. It’s good to know that without a point of attraction, there could not be that experience. It’s absolutely glorious to see how the judgers have opted to be cooperative components in my reality to bring my awareness to something I can now adjust and live more aware, freer yet, and more peaceful within myself for their help. Immense appreciation to all who opt to judge me and my actions, my motives, and my expressions, for all you show me is that there are smidges of self-judgment left within that attract these scenarios. Onward to ever greater awareness, to ever expanding ability for self-love.
Only when we are open enough to laugh loudly at who we are, what behavior patterns we still follow regularly, can we find that place in our hearts, where we find it easier to embrace each and every ounce of who we are, regardless of whether the things we find are especially enlightened, pretty much the lowest points of our lives, the glorious achievements in the outside world, or our quiet, unseen personal triumphs.
When we have truly reached the point, when we can fully accept the totality of who we encounter when we observe ourselves, then I foresee a wave of relief to wash across the whole of humanity, cleansing us from every little bit of judgment that we experience. This in full knowledge, that we have ceased to judge ourselves and the reflection of judgment that we encounter in our realities just isn’t there any longer. When this happens on a broad spectrum, we will find more and more humans in awe of their fellow man, in awe mainly because of the incredible amount of diversity and varied expressions that exist and can be shared. When this happens, fear of being judged can be an experience of the past that does no longer need to be re-created.
We all have the power to begin with a very simple step of stopping the inner critic from spewing forth his or her continuous stream of judgment at every twist and turn of our earthly experience. The more we are able to accept ourselves fully as we are, the more we will experience acceptance from others, the more we will accept them in turn… the avalanche is ready to sweep the world. Who’s with me?
(Original post: July 30, 2011)
The emotional feedback of feeling like a failure, or that you have failed at something is a direct response to thoughts that are in contrast to how your inner being, your source point thinks of you or about the situation you have judged or assessed to be negative.
What we humans tend to determine to be a failure is often just a turning point in our lives; or the new point of departure for a journey into a different direction. By looking at our “failures” as just that, a point of clarification perhaps, or at the very least as just the point of departure for the journey to the next point, then we can ease up on experiencing our creations as failures. Instead, we can adopt the perspective that they are mere springboards for more exciting stuff. Nothing in life is a failure, for everything, even that which we deem very negative, is merely the type of contrast that brings about new desires and preferences, which our source point immediately and steadily holds in focus, waiting for the human part to catch up. What we experience as failures are in fact the birthplaces for so much more. In that light, nothing is ever a true failure and nothing is ever really done, as our experience keeps expanding, growing, and increasing in many more interesting points that give rise to more of creation and experiences and so forth.
To look at oneself, one’s life, or certain experiences therein as failures, indicates that there is a general distrust or disbelief in the positivity of Creation itself and although that only leads to negative emotional feedback, that too is of course allowed as a filter through which to experience one of life’s many flavors. The joy of it all lies in allowing even that which we call failure to be in our experience, in the full understanding that ultimately, everything is as it is created, it is as it has been conjured up into our realities and therefore, by the sheer nature of its presence in our lives, it is good and cannot ever be a true failure.
Let’s face it, ego has a pretty bad rep these days. There are countless opinions that strive towards doing away with it altogether. There are methods praised for eliminating the ego and laments criss cross the vast (spiritual?) blogosphere of the internet commenting on how we need to battle the ego, fight it, crush it perhaps, and so on.
From my experience, and I have tried the above as well during my meandering journey through the different stages and opinions, ego hasn’t left me yet. Ego is here to stay. I would have possibly been even able to deny its existence altogether (or thought that I did), but it has that uncanny knack of popping up when you least expect it and if it’s been suppressed long and hard enough, it will wreck havoc upon return. I say this, because I have lived it, experienced it and know it to be so – for myself anyway. (and that’s ego speaking right here).
Ego is brilliant. Ego pulls us out of the depth of despair, helps us survive the most atrocious events and relentlessly puts us out there onto the stage of life time after time. I have gone through many stages regarding ego and found one place, where I am truly at peace and happy with it. That is in full acceptance of my ego’s worth. Ego too wants to be loved, like everything else. Ego is not just some silly, useless thing that we bring along into our incarnation and that needs to be removed like an ugly wart or something.
Ego is our helper. Ego allows contrast to be fully believed and completes the illusion of duality in the most precise and perfect manner. How else would we, limitless energetic consciousness or pure positive energy incarnated, be able to fully believe that we are limited? How else could we buy into the illusion that somebody is doing something to us? How else would we navigate here on Earth and be practical duality focused human beings having an amazing contrasting experience that gives rise to brilliant and marvellous expansion in non-physical? Ego makes all this possible and it is time in my opinion to debunk the belief that ego is something to be feared, something to be eliminated or something to wish away.
I embrace my ego in full awareness of its amazing service to my source. Every person has an ego and every person has that ego for a reason, or it would not be there. Non-physical’s creations are always precise, necessary and perfect for the intention at the basis of that creation. That is of course only a belief I hold, and you may not hold that same belief, but since I have come to hold this belief, my ego has calmed itself down to a level of companionable friendship, which works very well for me and my journey.
There are moments, when it tries to puff up and rear its head. That’s the moment when I feel prideful beyond that which is necessary. When I sense the twinge of “off” as my source’s feedback to such a moment of self-aggrandizement, I grin in appreciation for the emotional guidance and send my ego off to a beautiful island, complete with hammock and umbrella-drink, to take a vacation, to go rest a bit; but I allow it to check back in later. Ego is usually very happy to go there, for after taking on the whole navigation and management of my incarnation in the early years of my life, it is pretty tired of it and mighty glad not to have to do that anymore.
I guess what I am saying is this: ego is an integral part of you in human form, love it, accept it, treat it well, as that is always a gesture towards alignment and self-love, which in turn, will always feel good.
You will teach with absolute precision that which needs to be learned from you and it is most often not at all that which you think you should teach, nor that which you think others should learn. Trust that every human interaction, every exchange, unfolds in beautiful perfection and let go of the notion that there actually is something specific to teach.
There are countless methods, countless paths, countless ideas on how it’s done this business of getting “enlightened”. Books fill the shelves in homes, bookstores, even libraries – these books often claim to guide one to THE place, to know THE way.
To this day, people are still insisting on being right. Often times, messages that are meant for the person receiving them are being touted as messages for the broad masses. It may be difficult to fathom that the higher dimensional experiences are here to stay. The waves of frequency vibrations go back and forth still, and quite possibly always will. The pull back into the concepts of solar plexus, of competition, of pitching one thing against the next have their purpose I’m sure. Whether we wish to dip into the things we have courageously said good bye to, once more to get entangled in the tentacles of the old paradigm isn’t something to judge. It’s a dance that is as individual as is nothing else here on Earth. Would you judge a dancer who is fond of Viennese Waltz, when you are dancing Hip Hop ? I don’t think so. Thus is the to and fro of the old paradigm that entices some souls to dance in the old fashioned ways one more time, perhaps even the last time for some.
Judgment always brings strife and makes peace impossible. We can observe, we can even speak of what we observe, but we should not judge and if we find that we do judge, we could in the best case scenario at least be conscious that we are dancing in the old fashioned ways. That too is allowed. The next wave that breaks onto the beaches of the new paradigm will bring us there to try out the new steps of the newer dances, while we cherish the old that we have traveled through for so many life times. All is as it is supposed to be – all perspectives, all viewpoints and all experiences are allowed. To share them is only enriching as we navigate the waves and dance through these wondrous times of change.