When Judgment Strikes

It’s been quite a while since judgment showed up in my experience, but it seems that about once or twice a year, it pleases others to pass judgment on me. Judgment to me is like acid on the fabric of my creation. It feels bad. It feels bad, because I don’t wish to be judged and when I encounter judgment toward my person, my decisions, my way of life, it hurts. Plain and simple, I hear the words from others and adopt them for a brief time to be my own thoughts and they are so far removed from what my source thinks of me, that the misalignment is sudden and intense. It’s not just a wobble, no, it throws me for a loop and my heart aches.

First, I flop over and take the hit, then I have to see that the judgment is in its essence but a point of view another human being is voicing. Most certainly, that other point of view is not based on the full awareness of who I am or what I am all about. How could it be? Allowing of the different point of view seeps into my awareness and eases some of the pain. Immediately, considering the source of the words that had come into my reality, I realize that they have value. I see possible motives for their harsh judgments on me, which doesn’t make my pain less per se, but seeing possible motives helps me steer my thoughts back into the waters of my source.

Source never sees anything wrong with anybody. Source only sees different expressions of itself. Source allows. Humans don’t allow so much and they have their own way of perceiving. I could opt to fight this judgment that has come so suddenly into my awareness and I can choose to have a reality with that kind of experience or one without. For now, I realize that to have one without, it is most likely the case that the very same judgments I would attract if I feared to be judged, would be uttered without my knowing, behind my back. It remains my choice, where I put my focus. It remains my choice whether or not I allow myself to be affected by the judgments or just remember the human point of perspective from which they sprung forth. That perspective is as interesting as my own, whether I like it or not. It is however my prerogative to decide what my preference in this regard is and I opt to not judge those who judge. I opt to allow judgments to flow through me, fully knowing that although it looks like it’s the judgment that hurts, it actually is not. The judgment on its own does not hurt. It’s the web of thoughts that are triggered by it. The fact that there is something that can be triggered, means nothing other than that I have a point of attraction within me that invites this experience. Time to go within, look at what funny stuff I got going on within and focus on its improvement.

It’s good to remember that everything in my experience is my creation, even if it seems to come from the outside. It’s good to know that without a point of attraction, there could not be that experience. It’s absolutely glorious to see how the judgers have opted to be cooperative components in my reality to bring my awareness to something I can now adjust and live more aware, freer yet, and more peaceful within myself for their help. Immense appreciation to all who opt to judge me and my actions, my motives, and my expressions, for all you show me is that there are smidges of self-judgment left within that attract these scenarios. Onward to ever greater awareness, to ever expanding ability for self-love.



Perhaps you have felt it too…. a big energetic surge has hit the planet, culminating at the time of the Cardinal Grand Cross in April. The wave that ensued has swept that which was hidden and needed attention within each person to the surface. For some, riding this wave has been exhilarating and others found themselves in midst of the “muck” that they were perhaps not even aware of. The “muck” being flawed beliefs and learned behavior patterns that serve no longer in the new energies on Earth. Some say, this energetic burst was an opening, others call it a cleansing. For some it was a boost of epic proportions that propelled them into new understanding of how the universal forces are part of this creation and for others, it was a time of grieving losses, letting go and regrouping. I am certain there are numerous other ways this energetic wave was felt as it swept through the energies of our planet and is still rippling out. All I can say from my point of perspective is this: a new energetic frequency is in play now and this is interpreted and felt differently by each individual, similar perhaps, but ultimately the experience of it is very unique.

This change can also instill fear. The fear of change comes from the flawed belief that creation and with it the experienced reality is a static sort of thing that must be held onto, or it will all fall apart (or some such). From my personal journey’s point of view I can wholeheartedly guarantee that even if it feels like change and falling apart, it’s always just a metamorphosis and a new beginning. It is never an ending. It is never a loss and it is never the destruction of our innermost essence. It cannot be.

When fear of change hits, know that there may be flawed beliefs at play that suggest the loss of structure or your demise. These sort of beliefs are so far removed from that which source (your essence) is, that it takes only one look and a giggle to set the record straight. Know that you have bought into the illusion of being “finite” and reassure yourself that you are indeed infinite, pure positive energy at play. Ride the wave as it presents itself to you, it’s a personal thing, even if there are voices who say otherwise. Your journey is yours to experience and it is a glorious one.

The Last Conversation

“A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

On Trust, Responsibility, and Control

Trust in another can be fleeting. It can be shattered within a very brief moment, for we have no real control over what anyone else chooses to do. There are many relationships that we forge over the span of a lifetime. All of them are eternal, for a connection that is formed cannot be broken, even if all energy is put forth to control outward manifestations of that connection. Most likely, such a connection has been in existence for eons before it vibrationally aligned to attract the involved players in this lifetime, as it most likely has done so in many lifetimes before.

We may have objections to that which others in our life are doing. Their actions may erode trust that was there beforehand and the pain that follows the betrayal of trust is keen and strong in most peoples’ hearts, as it signals the degree of misalignment from source energy in a most intense manner. For me there is only one way to avoid betrayed trust in my experience and that is to trust in myself and my source completely. When I place trust into the hands/hearts of another, I will be disappointed, for nobody can control another to the point of ensuring fully that trust will not ever be betrayed.

Similarly, healing that which already is experienced as betrayal may take time, however control has no place at the core of the healing process, for it only highlights and perpetuates the energy pattern of: “I cannot trust you to comply with my wishes (or the standards that society expects of you).” That kind of distrust will most likely manifest again, regardless of how much control over the other is exercised. (It is a universe of attraction and not assertion after all). It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that will result in further experiences of betrayal of trust. Besides, control may briefly bring relief, but in essence it violates free will choice in the other person’s life and that is never in alignment with source energy and will eventually receive a negative emotional feedback of some sort.

The path to healing betrayal leads to taking control over trust rather than over the other person. When I decide to relieve anyone from the burden of my trust and instead place trust solely in myself and with that in my own source; when I trust that I will be fine regardless of the actions, thoughts, omitted actions etc. of another, then I can rest easy that betrayal will not be in my experience. With the shift of the projection of trust onto myself and away from the other person, I am taking full responsibility of myself in my relationship. I take responsibility for my own experience in that relationship. When I am able to do that, the need for control over the other falls away and with it any fear of betrayal. Once those two are no longer active in my energies, my experiences in relationships will also shift and reflect back to me the trust that I hold energetically by trusting myself above all.

New Ways

Letting go of old ways in favor of new ways is always a very difficult thing, especially if the old ways were actually quite suitable and got the job done.

Sometimes, I catch myself not being able to switch to a new version of doing something. It’s like that computer or software upgrade that you never wanted, because it entails learning new ways of doing things that were done just fine the old fashioned way. I don’t really know why I see within me this reluctance to change in some ways, when I have made the experience over and over again that the new way is indeed preferable to the old way. It is also strange to see that there are folks out there who insist that only the old way, following the old masters for example in science etc. is the “right” way or even the only way.

It goes without saying that logic dictates that new explorations are fun, can lead to ever improved ways and are to be pursued. Every ever so slightly bigger company has an R & D department after all. It is like stepping stones, we build upon that which we have done for centuries. Yet could we fathom doing certain things like they were done 200 years ago? In fact there are people who insist that this is the only really classical way of doing things and they keep insisting even when faced with proof of a new way doing the same thing. That kind of stubbornness is admirable in a way, as it shows the faith one has in that which is tried and true. However, it also shows a great deal of fear. Fear perhaps to have invested decades of one’s life to study the classical way of doing things, just to find that now, whoops, someone has figured out an easier way that brings greater or more accurate results? Why is it so difficult to make a switch and follow that which is new and perhaps let the old base knowledge filter in as well? Why do we (or some of us – in different circumstances probably all of us) feel so reluctant to jump into the new?

If we look at the new things that have popped up in the past 20 years, I dare say, those who had the courage to jump, untested or even just blindly are now recognizably successful in their own way, aren’t they? It is innovation, inspiration and execution of that which we dream of that brings these new ways into reality. If we could see that the person who had the greatest idea since the beginning of time is actually just an energetic part of the whole that we belong to as well, we could possibly let go of our fears, of any sense of competition that may cause us to poopoo that new idea. If we were instead cheering for the great minds that bring about all this change, we could send our egos back to their vacation islands and be happy for the one who had the grand idea. We could even be brave and follow one idea or the other – or, we could even be more daring and begin developing our own ideas. Free from fear, free from competition. What if we would all succeed to do things perfectly, easily and most of all individually suited to who we feel we are? What if all these different ways were equally cherished, recognized and appreciated? I think we’d have the most joyous innovation-fest one could ever imagine. How fast and easy would evolution be then?


(Original post: August 14, 2011)


It’s been a really long stretch of exercising my patience. I have been waiting for a very long time. The cocoon that was so visible, where people kept to themselves, where suspicion and fear won out over trust and love. That cocoon has kept people from recognizing each other on the soul level. The veil of forgetfulness that had such a Divine purpose in the old paradigm has thinned out a great deal. It’s beginning to be quite see-through.

As I was walking along the river, my mind on its water and the waters in all things, it was very noticeable how people recognized each other, how the greeting was sincere. In that moment of walking past one another, time seemed to expand, the whole image of who that soul is was clearly visible, while walking on that same path along the river. That expanded moment was all that needed to exist for a bit, there was no need to follow-up, there was no need to attach anything to that moment either. These were special little moments of absolute perfection, where the eye contact was made, the other’s presence here on Earth honored and recognized and that was good enough to stand in it’s own beauty.

After many of these brief encounters of recognition, the question came forth: “What do we have here?” and the answer was available right there as well: “Metamorphosis!”

It became clear in an instant that what I had witnessed today was the emergence of humanity in its new consciousness. Gone were the fear and suspicion, replaced by love and trust filled recognition of our true selves respectively. It is truly a form of metamorphosis that humanity is going through and the first ones are emerging now. It all culminated when at a grocery store after the walk, a clerk got a bar of chocolate and began offering it to everyone around. He was young, very handsome, tall, his eyes sparkled and his heart was wide open. He said very fittingly: “That’s how I make friends – Hello Friends!” Some were happy to share in the offered chocolate, others were more reluctant, but their choice of “no thanks” was respected with a smile.
We all had a great time and left each other with the ease that only absence of fear and attachment can bring – we left with our hearts wide open. The unspoken understanding was, that should there be need and like energy patterns, we will most certainly meet again.

(Original Post, 31st March, 2011)

Transcending the Illusion of Separation

A belief is a thought I keep thinking, reading, speaking of. I have spoken of oneness before; I have spoken of separation being an illusion. Evidently, my thought has ingrained itself into my belief structure, as time has come for me to experience it as my reality.

It required of me to fully give myself, my totality, over into the world at large. Existential fears popped up, as I felt my previous identity annihilate in a flash of love, just to find myself awash with a much greater sensation of bliss than I had ever before experienced. By giving myself fully to the whole, I had found a truer version of who I am and I am still amazed and filled with a sense of eternity that I had known only in special sneak preview moments in the past.I have since then been able to recapture this new identity consciously every day and I return to it as my new default after moments of misalignment.

This morning, to sum it up, I woke with these words echoing through my being: “I AM the world that I experience” and although that may not be news as a thought per se, it certainly is news to me to actually live it and actively participate in life from this new point of perspective.

The Flow of Abundance

The energy of abundance is the natural flow of source energy. It is available to everyone and everything without external limitations. There are many emotions and beliefs that can cut one off from this flow of source energy. As an example, any type of fear is a counter current to this flow which will result in a diminished experience of abundance.

Lured by Drama and Fear

It is curious to see what the attachment is to fear. I see people who manage to realize that they are in a state of perpetual fear and I see them courageously step out of that state of fear, into a state of now and love and the fear dissipates. Then, just when I believe that things are steady, that person will express again from a point of fear. It is as if fear is the main focus. It is as if fear is where the most drama can be had. Of course, it is not a conscious choice to return to a state of fear, but isn’t the sweetness of love much more preferable ? One would think so. Yet there is attachment to the bitterness and the shaky ground that is paved with fear.

Usually, people are reward based, so returning to a state of fear must give a greater reward than staying in a state of love. There must be some strange sort of pay-off that fear delivers and love does not.

I can only speculate here and coming from my past experiences, this pay-off is excitement, feeling alive. I felt most alive, when a drama would unfold. When centered in the love energy, drama falls away. It just simply becomes superfluous. Its fuel, fear, isn’t available so drama becomes quickly an unsuitable expression for a person residing in their heart.

The question that remains is how to solicit an experience of feeling “alive” whilst being in the state of love. For those of us, who reside mainly in a point of love, the answer to this question is clear. Love is the base of all life and we do feel so very much more alive than when fears paralyzed us in the past. The love based experience is however really quite undramatic. Sensations of being alive are quiet ones. There is one other thing that helps very much with the adjustment of the new “alive” vs. the old “alive”. What I am referring to is the heart based choices that lead a person to become fulfilled. These choices will lead one to one’s passion and also mission in life and that is ultimately where we are at our best for feeling alive and vibrant.

In conclusion, I believe the old pathways of fear and drama will be chosen for as long as a person hasn’t connected with their passion in life yet. I cannot imagine someone who is love based and experiences their passion on a daily basis to be lured in by fear again for the sole purpose to feel alive. In fact, I believe that the lure of drama becomes very ineffective and pales when compared to the power and enticing energy one’s personal passion in life holds. I can also assume that for as long as a person returns to the old focal point of fear, they have not found their passion in life yet, or if they know what it might be, they haven’t found a way to actively express themselves within their field of passion. Once they do, the lure of drama will become non-effective.