As I was spiraling through my patterning, I had the opportunity to get a good look at a wonderful pattern. The pattern that keeps me in the “right” to complain, blame others for my experience, and feel victimized by circumstances and people. There I thought I had worked through that, but it appeared that there was another level of intensity that I could become clear about. Sure, I know I’m the creator of my own reality – I take full responsibility, except when I complain, or judge, or fall into these states where I feel sorry for my (perceived) bad luck and so on. Only then, I’m rather not the creator of my own reality… In those moments, I disavow my creator status. By doing that, I basically am very mean to myself. With my resistance to accepting that it is my creation, I say in energetic “words” – “I did not do that – therefore, I’m not a creator”. Strangely enough, when I last revisited this subject, it felt like I was facing a really tough decision – one that asks me to give up complaining and blaming others (more and more) and one that asks me to step into the identity as being a responsible creator. It was the moment in which I realized, that once I fully embrace this, I will no longer pretend I am something that I am not. Authenticity had just gotten more real than ever before. My perception has since shifted from seeing my experience as something I am looking at, to something I actually caused to appear. The impact of taking full responsibility for this is sobering to say the least. I am happy to be in this place, for the path that lead me here was my unique creation as well, and I am fully responsible for every bit in my reality.