Explorations into Worthiness

For the past 4 weeks, I’ve taken an intense journey through the web of patterning that I call my personal beliefs. I have explored so many of these beliefs before on my journey, yet came across some deep seated structures that I had no idea existed in my web. The decision to embark on this journey came from a desire to explore the theme of worthiness. Unconditional worthiness that is. I had traveled from the depths of feeling utterly unworthy in my youth to find success in personal achievements that brought me into a sense of self-love, self-acceptance and even worthiness before my own eyes. I fooled myself successfully into believing that this was in full alignment with my source. Little did I know that I had a lot further to go on this topic. All my sense of worthiness (so I came to understand along with eating personal humble pie along the way) had been based on conditions. The amount of conditions I had in place had me stunned over and over again, until I was able to begin to apply humor to this journey that lead me into the depths of cleverly masked unworthiness.

The first couple of weeks were difficult to navigate. It seemed to me that the more I gazed upon situations, patterns, memories etc, where the theme of worthiness played a part, the more would pop up. I gradually gained the awareness that literally every ounce of sense of self-worth I encountered had to do with some sort of achievement, behavior, or other condition that went beforehand. It literally felt like I was trapped in a maze where I would bang my head at some walls at every thought/turn. Alignment was not to be had. Instead, I experienced a sense of sadness and what felt like a sea of grief that threatened to engulf me. My best guess is that these feelings were the emotional response of the past 5 decades that I had successfully circumnavigated or silenced by applying myself to seek successes in order to feel worthy of living my life. With ingenious cleverness, I had directed such achievements away from the standard achievements of career and such, to give the impression that I wasn’t buying into mainstream patterning, but in this past month I came to realize that it matters very little in which area of interest one strives for success and achievements in order to accomplish the feat of feeling worthy. It’s all the same. Any area of interest that I felt a good sense of self-worth in turned out to be just littered with the covered up patterns of unworthiness. It ran very deep into existential depths.

I realized in my process that this sense of unworthiness is at the core of the human conditioning and activates immediately as we are born into our physical form. It’s a core pattern of humanity and to change this core belief took some conscious pattern pivoting on my behalf and I believe it will be an ongoing project for quite some time still, as mass consciousness is buying heavily into having to prove oneself first before a sense of worthiness can be … what? – achieved?! … In this very sentence, you can see the crux of this topic. I encountered the difficulty of “achieving the change of this belief structure in order to become worthy” over and over again and decided to relax every time I found myself to be “working” on changing the belief from unworthy to worthy. This drive to reach for something, to achieve something runs very deep in human thought, and since I am human like everyone else, it is no different for me.

The journey through the maze of patterns attached to the theme of worthiness brought me to this understanding: I am worthy regardless of any condition. The unconditionality of worthiness is the central factor that I was able to identify. The moment a condition arises in my thoughts, I know I’m buying into the unworthiness pattern, be it ever so briefly. When I pay attention and recognize that moment, I take the opportunity and affirm that I was worthy before the condition and stay worthy – period. It gets very simple after the first rush of the many beliefs that are part of the (un)worthiness web. A belief is a thought I keep thinking. Without pushing against conditional worthiness (=unworthiness covered up to make it acceptable), I have resorted to repeat words like “I am worthy regardless” or simply “I am still worthy” – “I will always be worthy” … At first these words sounded a bit phoney – almost like small little lies. Over time, once the intense 2 week period of grief and sadness had given way to better feelings again, these little reassurances had grown to be more powerful and today, I feel they have grown beautiful roots in my belief system. They have anchored in on many themes of my life and my life experiences have changed along with this fundamental change in my belief system.

I do feel mass consciousness’ pull at times still, where it feels like I am swimming against a mighty current, but I realize that those are the moments I am actually trying to fight against that current. Only by allowing that current to be unchanged, even though my personal current has changed fundamentally, do I feel alignment. I am worthy whether mass consciousness holds the belief of having to prove itself or not. I am being careful to not pronounce any success, achievement, or mastery at this point. I realize that the theme of worthiness is an all-encompassing core theme that touches every human being and I simply appreciate that I am free to share my perceptions in these explorations into worthiness, knowing full well that everything is always perfect and nothing is ever done.

 

Whomever you Meet

At any new encounter, meet your family, your friends, your acquaintances without a preconceived idea. Meet them without prejudice. Meet them with an open mind and an open heart as you would meet someone you have never met before and you may be surprised to observe how different they can (and often want to) be if you offer no current as to who they were before.

Growing

The reason we are growing and expanding in our essence is not because we aren’t big enough or not good enough, not smart enough or still too ignorant, but because it simply is our true nature of being in a state of perpetual expansion. By embracing our own true state of expansiveness, without attributing to it the assumption that we were less than perfect at any time before now, we can reach a state of allowing self-love to flow. 

Friendship without Words

There are no words needed to share music – this one is for an amazing and special friend who visits almost every day – enjoy!

Resisting Resistance

Our fantastic human brains respond very easily to the mass consciousness belief of “fighting against that which is bad”. Humanity has with loads of practice reached a place long ago, where that fighter spirit is the default and it responds to everything from the most insignificant subject to those subjects that impact nations and the earth itself. On my journey, I’ve spiraled into the experiential understanding that resistance is equal to focus (in intensity and duration). It is not only futile to resist, it’s actually counterproductive. While in the resistant state, we will never experience that which we want to experience in the amazing details we have conjured up due to the contrast we have experienced. In a state of resistance, that which has given rise to identify the preference is still being focused upon and the new cannot be experienced, as we are no vibrational match to it yet. Every process, every work plan we may have to edge away from resisting, for who wants to focus on the unwanted voluntarily, means only one thing – we have declared resistance to be the unwanted thing and are resisting it with that same fighter spirit that is humanity’s default still. It’s a double whammy at that point and it will always feel bad to be in such a state of double resistance. 

Allowing resistance to be a part of our lives’ experiences takes practice. It takes letting go. It takes allowing the “negative” emotions to be there, it takes releasing any and all pushing against feeling bad. It takes embracing the emotion as a natural reminder that there is greater well being in store and more ease still to be had. The reminder, that for now, in that negative emotion, you’re just as healthy as you are in full bliss and vibrational alignment with your source point. It is natural to resist while physically focused. It is normal to feel bad because of the resistance and it is ultimately easy to allow the natural unfolding of that process without resisting resistance so much. The following words have helped me reach levels of allowing that are greater than those I allowed before:

“There is no place to get to, there is nothing to do. I am here, now, in the state I am in anyway and since that is where I am at, I trust it to be perfect for me. I allow it to be just as it is. I pay attention to the experience and deem it right and good. I put my boat into the stream of my own creation and float towards that which source has in store for me with ease and quiet curiosity.” 

It is a calm state this state of allowing resistance to be what it is. In this calm, resistance dissolves all on its own. As my focus on it lessens, I experience more of my natural state of being, since source always allows everything unconditionally. Alignment is the inevitable consequence.

 

 

Well Being

All things, every little detail here on Earth, are a reflection of well being, for even in the contrast of seeming absence of well being resides the promise of well being, and the expansion into even greater well being.

What followed from this reminder was an intense desire to practice. Put the mental knowledge into a tangible experience. That desire felt so good, it must have been well aligned with my source point’s desire. To feel that good is to align with source. To align with source is to leave behind the dichotomies of polarity; or better said, put the notion of division a bit out of focus. The new focus is on well being. Well being is the order of the universe. Well being prevails. Consensus reality says differently. Mass consciousness is hooked on the bad news and the gory horrors of “negative” earthly experiences. That current prevails and is palpable to me, as I focus on well being. It offers itself at the core of my intentions as the one thing to practice with and so I do. Even the seemingly negative currents of mass consciousness are well being, the promise of greater well being anyway. The noticing of well being all around is becoming a fun training of the mind and it gets more playful the longer I keep at it. The physical experience and the knowledge of the non-physical well being that never wavers are beginning to get fuzzy around the edges and merge together into one big pool of wellness. All is well, this pool shouts at me whenever I steer my focus there. All is well eternally.

 

The Inspiration Challenge

quantumperceptions:

food for thought – expression of appreciation goes a long way :)

Originally posted on Goddess Arriving:

Yeah, yeah….I know…I hear you grumbling.  A challenge?  Aren’t there enough people dumping ice over their heads?  I’m not against the ALS ice water challenge at all.  I just hope all of these people are also donating to the cause, not just catching pneumonia to spread awareness.

Anyway…has anyone ever told you that you inspire them?  Yes, little ol’ you sitting in your fancy yoga pants that you don’t wear to yoga class…has anyone ever said to you publicly or privately that you have helped them get through a tough time, have eased their pain or brightened their day?

I have and it’s FREAKIN’ AWESOME!  I admit that one of my goals with this blog and with its sister social media page (hehum, I can’t use it’s name because it’s algorithm will prevent me from sharing this post) is to inspire people to see our collective “oneness,” love more…

View original 377 more words

Racism

For years now I have kept my blog posts free of politics. Do not fear, this one will also be kept free of politics, even if the title potentially suggests otherwise. It seems to me that humanity has a chance these days to look at some core beliefs about race. From my point of view, these core beliefs about race are not only intimately linked to the color of one’s skin, or other physical features, but have a distinct patterning that affects an individual’s identity.

The reasons why any point of source would choose to incarnate in one particular physical expression over another are many. In essence it is always this: The chosen physical “look” matches 100% that which a source point has intended to experience. Period. It’s that simple. It’s perfection. 

Racism is this trend that has been going on within humanity for a great number of years, thousands of years actually. There have been many cries for it to stop. The creation of a humanity who can peacefully co-exist in all facets of diversity has already happened in non-physical. It is possible to attract the changes that will ultimately allow this magnificent creation of such a humanity into physical expression. Any form of outward action (unless that makes you deliriously happy, then it’s your calling to jump into action) will only fuel racism, for racism begins within. 

I am sorely aware, that this lifetime in this caucasian body doesn’t really give me much entitlement to even speak about racism, since it’s the white folks who have perpetrated so many racial “no-no-s”. It is interesting to note that my cell information of “caucasian” tells me that I am guilty of said perpetrated atrocities, even if my personal beliefs only speak of humans, regardless of skin color or otherwise distinguishing features. Yes, being in a caucasian body brings the filter of being guilty. That’s the moment where racism starts – right there. That’s where I am noticing a difference between those who are not of caucasian cell information vs. myself. This negative emotional feedback (in my case guilt) is a clear indication that the identification with “caucasian” holds a belief pattern that is a misalignment with source frequency. Source does not identify with skin color but only rejoices in diversity. 

I look at racial patterning as something we come into an incarnation with. It doesn’t matter what our personal beliefs are, the cells hold a racial pattern that speaks of ancient experiences that have been going on for thousands of years. Depending on the diversity of your ancestry, there are numerous patterns that overlay and form a specific racial filter through which you can either simply experience your life (like a preset), or you can choose to evolve beyond it by consciously changing your own racial beliefs and implement those to form a different filter through which you experience your life. 

You may wonder whether it is possible to affect the cellular memory by changing a belief pattern and I can easily confirm that you can. A belief is a thought you keep thinking. That which you look at is what registers as a thought. If you look at the racial issues that are being experienced in any part of the world, you will look at racism. If you look at racism, your own pattern of racism (yes we all have them still) will come to the fore. When that happens, and you become conscious of your racial patterning, relax for a moment. Relax into the presence of those patterns. They are an information on the cellular level that you have come into this body with. There is no need to fight them. In fact, if you want to see racism gone from humanity, start by focusing on loving acceptance of your own inner racial patterning. No matter whether that has the information of “victim” or “perpetrator” – it really doesn’t matter what the race is, or how you experience the patterning. What really matters is that you can find acceptance, and then self-love of that racial patterning by looking at yourself in a loving and accepting manner often (very often)… 

If you do this practice often enough, and moving into acceptance rather than staying in racism seems to be a worthy cause to me, such acceptance becomes a pattern of its own. Then you are indeed a (r)evolutionary genius who is contributing to general acceptance of race. I see the potential that if many many (did I say many!) people would busy themselves with such acceptance, racism will cease to be an experience on this planet. A goal that fills me with such joy that I cannot help but ask you all to give this some thought, and perhaps find acceptance of your own racial self, no matter the color, no matter the many ancestral points of origin. Ultimately, it’s all the same, just in many different facets that bring such diverse experiences. A joy to look at really!

Slippery Cheeks

quantumperceptions:

and sometimes someone else will express something in absolute perfection so that I can just reblog it :) Thanks Sheri! :)

Originally posted on DEAR HUMAN ~ LETTERS TO HUMANITY:

IMG_0918.JPG Dear Human,

Many of us feel this way every once in a while … and it’s ok.

Tears are the souls way of expressing pain or expressing joy. Tears are a sign that you are alive, that you feel and that something inside of you must come out to culminate an emotion.

If you feel a memory slipping out of your head and down your cheek, it’s okay. Let it.

Then take a deep breath and continue moving forward

Love,
Sheri

Photo Image: the mankind project

View original

Life Experiences

Not many are able to buck a current, nobody is really supposed to buck a current. All people you interact with are cooperative components in your reality behaving the way your current dictates – the type of current you are offering can be witnessed in your life experiences… if you don’t like it, just change the current by choosing that which you actually prefer … make that choice over and over again until it becomes a new belief, a new current; until it can be seen played out in different life experiences.